[Varian doesn't like telling this story, but he never turns away people's questions and opinions on it. Hell, he expects them. What he's been through, what he's done, is a lot. So he waits there, shifting uneasily, letting Dipper process all of this. ]
I've learned not to do any of that again. [Obviously. He exhales softly. ] I'm not gonna tell you I'm magically a better person, Dipper. I don't- I think that would take a very long time, and it's not on me to judge when I've managed that. That's on the people I hurt, who aren't here.
[And even then, he's not convinced there's a real end to it. Not really.]
All I can do is keep trying to be better and use what I know to help people who need it.
[That was a pretty good answer, and clears up with Dipper wanted to know. Dipper has no business judging Varian on something that happened in another lifetime entirely. The whole point of this place was to start over, start fresh, so slamming him for something like this after all this time would make him a hell of a hypocrite.]
[All Dipper wanted to know is where he was in moving forward. No one is perfect, and in fact pretty much everyone he knows has terrible flaws that most people would find reprehensible. Grunkle Stan is a conman who regularly steals, cheats, and lies, and Great Uncle Ford kept a grudge for literal decades, resulting in the near-destruction of their universe. Both of them move forward in their own ways and that is what Dipper values. No one's perfect, no one can really claim to be good, what matters is how you strive to do better. That's what Dipper thinks, anyway.]
Cool. That's all I needed to know.
[He says it with all the acceptance of someone who just got told their DD&D session got rescheduled for tomorrow. A surprise, but taken in stride.]
[Well. Varian definitely wasn't expecting that response. He's finally started to accept that he won't get the anger and hate from his friends he thinks he deserves when they hear that story, but this is taking it well to a whole new level. Confusion camps across his features.]
What? That's...it? You're... taking this a lot better than I expected.
Oh, no, dude. It’s taking every ounce of my self restraint not to blow another swear and put myself in swear-debt for next month.
[Seriously, dude, what the fuck.]
Here’s the thing- yeah, you did a lot of extremely messed up stuff. Stuff that rivals the actual child psychopath we had to deal with back home, which I can’t overstate how impressively hecked that is.
[Dipper leans back in his chair and regards Varian for a moment and shakes his head.]
But none of that is my business. If its something that happened back where we came from, we are twice removed from all of that now. Judging someone based on that would made me a hypocrite.
I know you as you are, and I’ve seen what you’ve done for the town. You’re making honest strides in the right direction and that’s what matters.
We’ve all got a past to contend with and we’ve all done things of varying degrees of horrible, my family included, all we can do now is move forward.
If you want to swear, I can pretend I never heard it. Mabel never needs to know.
[He says that even though they're both well aware that even if neither of them ever said a thing, Mabel would know.
He listens to what Dipper has to say, shifting a little uneasily. He knows, deep down, that he is doing a lot to be a better person. To do better for everyone around him. He can't deny that, and yet every time people give him support and understanding that he doesn't feel he deserves. ]
...Thanks...for that. I really wouldn't blame you if you did judge me? I judge me all the time for what I did. Who I was. The whole... psychopath thing. But I am trying on working on it. Being better. It's just taking some time, I guess.
[And then she'll come for his ass with the swear jar. There are fees, Varian.]
Anyway, no one becomes a better person over night. I'd hazard to say it's a constant work in progress for basically everyone. All we can do is try, dude.
[Pause.]
But if you ever do anything to screw with someone's memories I will personally make sure you regret coming out of the ocean, got it?
[Varian might have pegged Dipper as the Normal Pines, but that just means he is stealth terrifying.]
The child psychopath that came at me with a giant robot back home got the snot beat out of him after I crashed through the window of his cockpit from leaping off a cliff. Don't test me.
[Maybe twins just always know. He exhales softly.]
Oh, yeah, I figured that one out. I've been working on this for years, I doubt I'll ever be done.
[He's always a little afraid that he might backslide. It's something he's always acutely aware of- especially here, where things could mess with his head so much easier and bring out parts of him he'd much rather stay buried.
And huh, look at that. Maybe Dipper is definitely the Least Normal Pines. Varian kinda stares for a moment, before chuckling nervously.]
H-ah, duly noted. I don't have any plans to mess with anyone's memories. And honestly, if someone had crashed into my giant robot, I probably would have been dealt with a lot quicker.
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countryclub2021-08-09 05:25 pm
no subject
I've learned not to do any of that again. [Obviously. He exhales softly. ] I'm not gonna tell you I'm magically a better person, Dipper. I don't- I think that would take a very long time, and it's not on me to judge when I've managed that. That's on the people I hurt, who aren't here.
[And even then, he's not convinced there's a real end to it. Not really.]
All I can do is keep trying to be better and use what I know to help people who need it.
no subject
[All Dipper wanted to know is where he was in moving forward. No one is perfect, and in fact pretty much everyone he knows has terrible flaws that most people would find reprehensible. Grunkle Stan is a conman who regularly steals, cheats, and lies, and Great Uncle Ford kept a grudge for literal decades, resulting in the near-destruction of their universe. Both of them move forward in their own ways and that is what Dipper values. No one's perfect, no one can really claim to be good, what matters is how you strive to do better. That's what Dipper thinks, anyway.]
Cool. That's all I needed to know.
[He says it with all the acceptance of someone who just got told their DD&D session got rescheduled for tomorrow. A surprise, but taken in stride.]
no subject
What? That's...it? You're... taking this a lot better than I expected.
no subject
[Seriously, dude, what the fuck.]
Here’s the thing- yeah, you did a lot of extremely messed up stuff. Stuff that rivals the actual child psychopath we had to deal with back home, which I can’t overstate how impressively hecked that is.
[Dipper leans back in his chair and regards Varian for a moment and shakes his head.]
But none of that is my business. If its something that happened back where we came from, we are twice removed from all of that now. Judging someone based on that would made me a hypocrite.
I know you as you are, and I’ve seen what you’ve done for the town. You’re making honest strides in the right direction and that’s what matters.
We’ve all got a past to contend with and we’ve all done things of varying degrees of horrible, my family included, all we can do now is move forward.
[with a smile, he shrugs.]
no subject
[He says that even though they're both well aware that even if neither of them ever said a thing, Mabel would know.
He listens to what Dipper has to say, shifting a little uneasily. He knows, deep down, that he is doing a lot to be a better person. To do better for everyone around him. He can't deny that, and yet every time people give him support and understanding that he doesn't feel he deserves. ]
...Thanks...for that. I really wouldn't blame you if you did judge me? I judge me all the time for what I did. Who I was. The whole... psychopath thing. But I am trying on working on it. Being better. It's just taking some time, I guess.
no subject
[And then she'll come for his ass with the swear jar. There are fees, Varian.]
Anyway, no one becomes a better person over night. I'd hazard to say it's a constant work in progress for basically everyone. All we can do is try, dude.
[Pause.]
But if you ever do anything to screw with someone's memories I will personally make sure you regret coming out of the ocean, got it?
[Varian might have pegged Dipper as the Normal Pines, but that just means he is stealth terrifying.]
The child psychopath that came at me with a giant robot back home got the snot beat out of him after I crashed through the window of his cockpit from leaping off a cliff. Don't test me.
no subject
[Maybe twins just always know. He exhales softly.]
Oh, yeah, I figured that one out. I've been working on this for years, I doubt I'll ever be done.
[He's always a little afraid that he might backslide. It's something he's always acutely aware of- especially here, where things could mess with his head so much easier and bring out parts of him he'd much rather stay buried.
And huh, look at that. Maybe Dipper is definitely the Least Normal Pines. Varian kinda stares for a moment, before chuckling nervously.]
H-ah, duly noted. I don't have any plans to mess with anyone's memories. And honestly, if someone had crashed into my giant robot, I probably would have been dealt with a lot quicker.