[ Wu repeats, his hands wavering uselessly around him. Fear is roiling in his gut because he's utterly useless here. He can't help. He can't help and that scares him and he looks around the boardwalk for anyone who could help, but doesn't see anyone he knows, only townspeople who are avoiding them ]
It's happening and you're turning blue. That's, that's bad. Mako, baby, can you think, um, warm thoughts? Will that help? Think about fire! It's, there's got to be a way to turn it back to fire! Right?
[ Oddly enough, that is helping. Mako isn't prone to freaking out—he's never had that luxury—but with the day he's had, some of that control slipped away. He yanks it back down over himself now, pulls himself together for Wu's sake so Wu stops panicking beside him.
Think warm thoughts, huh?
The first time he managed to bend something bigger than a candle—a flame in the little stove in their house, crackling and cheerful—Mako had celebrated for an hour afterward, dragging it across the coals, putting it out and lighting it again with the joy of a skill barely-mastered.
He thinks about that, and about his mother's warm hands, the energy he knows as intimately as his own breath, and—
And the ice starts melting.
Slowly—Mako sucks in another breath, focuses harder—and then more quickly, turning from ice to water and sloshing down around him, and Mako meets Wu's eyes and holds them until it all manages to melt away, leaving him sitting on wet boards, frowning. ]
[ Wu throws himself forward, wrapping his arms tight around Mako's shoulders, pressing his nose into the crook of his neck. He's wet and freezing and Wu is hungry, but it's been a really rough day for Mako today, and Wu wants to be here for him, wants to hold on tight and return at least some of the times when Mako has taken care of him. ]
[ Mako drags his arms around Wu in turn, though, holding him close because it's warm and because, oddly, because it makes him feel better. Less out of control, less like his own bending is betraying him all over again. There are so many unknowns in this new world. Mako's own body can't be one of those things. That it is, that he's making things happen without meaning to, spikes a strange and cold kind of fear into his heart.
A fear he has to swallow and move past, because he and Wu have work to do. Sucking in a breath, Mako makes himself pull away, carefully pushing heat into the air around him to start drying off his clothes. ]
C'mon. Let's get more food and then I want to find us a place to stay.
[ Wu holds onto him, pressing back close and looking up at Mako ]
We don't have to move so fast! You were just-- [ He cuts himself off. This is what Mako does, is the thing. This is what Mako does when he's feeling weak or uncomfortable or incapable. It's what he did when Deerington was a desert, when he pushed Wu away.
Fear grips his gut for a second, and he lets Mako go. ]
[ Mako appreciates Wu not pushing right now. Not yet, not surrounded by people. The boardwalk is a terrible place to admit that Mako isn't even fully in control of his own body. There are so many eyes, and they don't know anything about the locals. That's like handing someone a knife and telling them your weak spot and trusting them not to use it.
No, thank you.
Mako can focus on food and shelter and then he can freak out.
He aims a small, grateful (ragged) smile at Wu as he pushes himself to his feet. ]
[ Wu tangles his fingers with Mako's and stays close to him. Sometimes, Mako feels better by taking care of Wu, and sometimes he gets annoyed that he has to do it. Wu is pretty sure this is the former, and he gives Mako a little smile and a nod. ]
Yeah, yeah! Let's go get more hotdogs, then we can explore.
[ And get Mako warmed up first. He still looks a little blue, his fingers ice in Wu's hand. He squeezes tighter, trying to warm him up without Mako knowing that's what he's doing.
He leads Mako slowly away from the water still on the ground, back toward the vendor. He wants to talk about it. He knows he shouldn't talk about it. But he really can't help it. ]
[ Yeah, alright. Mako was kind of hoping he could distract Wu with hotdogs and housing but he knew better, really: Wu can't let things go, even when he really should.
Thinking that way isn't fair, though. Mako likes Wu when he's being honest, when he's letting himself ask the things he wants to ask, when he's being himself. He doesn't want Wu biting back his words in favor of brighter, shinier ones.
Which means, he knows, he has to answer. Mako stifles a groan. ]
Yeah. Apparently, you're not the only one who's changed since we got here. I just have to learn to deal with it and... icebend. I guess. Seems like a weird thing to suddenly be able to do. At least yours kind of makes sense.
[ Which is an understatement, but Mako's not about to admit how much he hates it with all these people around. He pulls Wu carefully toward the hotdog vendor, accepts three of them and hands one to Wu. Wu's definitely going to want another one. ]
It makes sense that I can show people my memories?
[ Wu takes the offered hotdog with a small smile, staying close to Mako's side. He doesn't think it makes sense. It was jarring, more than jarring, when his friends were confused by seeing into his mind. He didn't mean to show Varian one of the worst days of his life, or Ryan another one, or Ange Varian's new powers. He doesn't mind sharing, but most of those aren't thing he would choose to share. He doesn't want to have to worry about accidentally sharing something when he touches someone. ]
It is weird for you to make ice! It's, whoa, Mako-- are you like Korra now? Can you bend all the elements?
[ Mako snorts. He should've figured that question was coming, really. ]
Just the ice. Believe me, I tried. The sand stayed put, and I definitely can't airbend. Or even waterbend. I don't think it's the same thing. It probably has something to do with my blood. Did I show you that?
[ They are, maybe, thanks to Mako, walking quite quickly up from the boardwalk all strung with lights. The sun has started to sink low and red into the west behind them, staining all the wood the color of blood. Mako can feel it on the back of his neck and he can feel it even more in his belly, tugging in a way it never did before. ]
[ Wu shudders, thinking about it. He doesn't really want to see blood, even if it's Mako's. He's seen it enough, k tnx, when he had to dress the bullet wound he put in Mako's calf.
Fritter, perched on Wu's shoulders, leans down to try and steal some of his hotdog. Wu rips off a bit of the bun and offers it to her offhandedly ]
That would have been so cool! Well, you're one step closer to being the Avatar, big guy.
What, you think I want to be the Avatar? My life is chaotic enough just being friends with her. I don't want all that.
[ Come on, Wu, you don't want all that responsibility either. Leave being a symbol to Bolin and Asami and Korra: Mako just wants to be Mako, and to know what that actually means. Maybe it's just the myriad physical transformations that are making it hazy and hard to remember. He wonders, idly, in a way he hasn't in years, what his mother would think of him now, wandering along a strange shore toward a dark city with his arm around the Earth King. ]
But my point is, my blood's blue. And... frozen. Weirdly.
[ It takes a second for those words to make sense in his brain. ]
It's blue?!
[ Somehow that's weirder than his boyfriend suddenly being able to make ice and nearly freezing himself to the ground. He turns to look at Mako, mouth agape ]
It's really blue? How is it blue? Your blood was normal! Red normal! Before--
[ Right?! He would have noticed if Mako's blood wasn't read, wouldn't he.
Well, Mako does look pale. Wu reaches up to pull at his cheek. Huh. He doesn't have as much of a red tint under his skin ]
[ Mako yanks his head back, which doesn't do anything except stretch his skin, which does in fact flush blue under Wu's fingers where once it would have gone pink. It's subtle, but yes: it's definitely blue.
Mako glares down at him, more huffy than anything, finally pulling himself free. ]
What was that? Obviously it was normal before. It was the squid thing. Something changed.
[ It's weird. It's pretty damn weird. The tint of Mako's skin is so different now, different and pale and maybe he isn't just feeling bad, maybe he really is different.
But he lets Mako go, not wanting him to get too much more annoyed with Wu than he already is. That little hint of fear is still there, a pit in his gut that he's good at ignoring, but that rears its head whenever Mako gets like this, when he stops being amused by Wu and gets annoyed instead.
He really doesn't know what he would do without Mako. In Deerington, at home, in this new place, wherever they are now. He would be horribly lost without him.
He starts to eat the hotdog so he doesn't say anything else stupid. But Fritter grabs onto Mako's shirt and tugs, glaring up at him ]
[ Mako asks again, this time a little more mystified and a little less annoyed, looking down at Fritter. She looks angry about something, but Mako's still rubbing at his cheek where Wu tugged at it, focused on his weird blood and how they're going to find someplace to stay. He'd heard earlier that there were plenty of houses, that they could just... have one, but Mako doesn't trust that at all. It's too good, too easy. If people could just give away houses with no catch, they'd've been doing that everywhere. ]
[ Fritter chitters something unintelligible at Mako, and Wu frowns at her, petting over her head. ]
Hey, hey, princess, it's okay. Mako's having a bad day. Give him a break!
[ Except Wu doesn't exactly feel great himself. His high of being somewhere new, of trying to understand it, of meeting new people, is starting to wear off, and he's kind of exhausted. He hasn't had the best day, either, and all he wants to do is lie down, but they don't have a place to lie down. ]
Um. Where are we going?
[ They're past the edge of the boardwalk now, surrounded by dark, imposing buildings, and he presses closer to Mako's side ]
The city. Unless you wanted to sleep on the beach.
[ A few months ago, Mako probably would have left it at that: an answer to a question, and nothing else, no matter the other part of what Wu said, no matter the raccoon still glaring up at him with big dark eyes.
It's true, but the words still make guilt twist coldly through him. Mako isn't having a good day, but he doesn't need to take that out on Wu, who's been there since he woke up, who dragged him from the salt and the sand and held him until he remembered who he was.
Mako can't lean on him like this. He can't make Wu's life harder, no matter how shitty he feels.
The boardwalk gives way to a path, and Mako swallows, walking a little closer himself, untangling his arm from Wu's only to wrap it around his shoulders instead. ]
...I don't think any of us are having a great day.
[ Wu leans into his side, and Fritter huffs a little, having to move to accommodate Mako's arm. Usually, she'd probably run up to Mako's shoulders instead, but she's still annoyed at him, and curls up between Mako's hand and Wu's throat. ]
Do you think there's a hotel? Boy, what I'd give for room service. Hot dogs are great and everything, but a guy can't just live on junk food!
I hope so. One of the people on the beach told me you could just... have a house?
[ But his tone says more than enough about how Mako feels about that. At least in Deerington they woke up in houses. Mako has this vague idea that they'll claim one only to find it haunted or blood-covered or get kicked out by angry locals the next day, or charged more than either of them could ever afford. Wu doesn't exactly have a king's salary anymore.
He does quietly, covertly, scritch Fritter's ear in an offering of peace. ]
We'll figure something out. Hotel or house or... I don't know, I've slept in worse than alleys.
[ Wu looks up at him again, aghast. It's so casual, how can he say that so casually? It hurts down in Wu's heart to think of Mako not having a bed to sleep in ]
We're not sleeping in an alley! When have you slept in an alley?
[ He does remember, sometimes, but it's easy to forget. The Mako he knows is so put together, so self-assured, he can forget that their lives were so different, before. When Wu was miserable in his giant palace with food and shelter and any physical comfort he could want, Mako was struggling and homeless.
Maybe he willfully forgets it. His feelings aren't contained, are a roiling thing inside him, and they leak through the touch of Mako's arm around his shoulder, letting Mako feel the deep sadness that Wu feels when he thinks about Mako's past, the disgust he feels for his own self-centeredness. He has no idea his emotions are there, no idea that Mako can feel them.
Fritter whines, pressing her nose into Wu's throat. ]
Right. Trash. Um. We're not going to do that. We're going to find somewhere with beds and a roof and hopefully pillows and blankets and things like that.
Not really, even when he was a kid. At first Mako was numb, focused so hard on finding them places to stay that he barely had time to figure out how he felt about any of it. He and Bolin would curl up with pilfered sheets, making little forts in alleyways with whatever they could find, and Mako would burn trash like they were camping and tell Bolin stories until they fell asleep.
Until Bolin fell asleep.
Mako was too scared those first few months that someone would come upon them, hurt them like the other kids would threaten. He'd lie awake, his heart pounding at every small noise, full of fear and memories and mostly—mostly anger. Sadness has always transmuted to anger inside him, catching like kindling and burning hot enough to fuel him and keep him going.
Mako hasn't been sad about it in a long time.
So he doesn't know where this is coming from, doesn't recognize it as his own, and after a beat, feeling it well up cold and dark, he glances down at Wu, wondering. ]
I'm... not saying we have to sleep in an alleyway, just that we can't trust this place. We'll find a house, or a hotel. Don't worry. I'll figure it out.
[ At least Mako is taking care of him. Mako always takes care of him, in the end, but Wu can't let himself just fall back into making Mako solve everything for him. ]
We'll figure it out.
[ Wu corrects him, and looks up at Mako with a small smile. ]
I guess we should look around! What kind of house would you want, assuming we can pick from any of them?
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countryclub2021-08-09 05:25 pm
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[ Wu repeats, his hands wavering uselessly around him. Fear is roiling in his gut because he's utterly useless here. He can't help. He can't help and that scares him and he looks around the boardwalk for anyone who could help, but doesn't see anyone he knows, only townspeople who are avoiding them ]
It's happening and you're turning blue. That's, that's bad. Mako, baby, can you think, um, warm thoughts? Will that help? Think about fire! It's, there's got to be a way to turn it back to fire! Right?
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Think warm thoughts, huh?
The first time he managed to bend something bigger than a candle—a flame in the little stove in their house, crackling and cheerful—Mako had celebrated for an hour afterward, dragging it across the coals, putting it out and lighting it again with the joy of a skill barely-mastered.
He thinks about that, and about his mother's warm hands, the energy he knows as intimately as his own breath, and—
And the ice starts melting.
Slowly—Mako sucks in another breath, focuses harder—and then more quickly, turning from ice to water and sloshing down around him, and Mako meets Wu's eyes and holds them until it all manages to melt away, leaving him sitting on wet boards, frowning. ]
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[ Wu throws himself forward, wrapping his arms tight around Mako's shoulders, pressing his nose into the crook of his neck. He's wet and freezing and Wu is hungry, but it's been a really rough day for Mako today, and Wu wants to be here for him, wants to hold on tight and return at least some of the times when Mako has taken care of him. ]
You're okay! You're not frozen!
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[ Mako drags his arms around Wu in turn, though, holding him close because it's warm and because, oddly, because it makes him feel better. Less out of control, less like his own bending is betraying him all over again. There are so many unknowns in this new world. Mako's own body can't be one of those things. That it is, that he's making things happen without meaning to, spikes a strange and cold kind of fear into his heart.
A fear he has to swallow and move past, because he and Wu have work to do. Sucking in a breath, Mako makes himself pull away, carefully pushing heat into the air around him to start drying off his clothes. ]
C'mon. Let's get more food and then I want to find us a place to stay.
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[ Wu holds onto him, pressing back close and looking up at Mako ]
We don't have to move so fast! You were just-- [ He cuts himself off. This is what Mako does, is the thing. This is what Mako does when he's feeling weak or uncomfortable or incapable. It's what he did when Deerington was a desert, when he pushed Wu away.
Fear grips his gut for a second, and he lets Mako go. ]
Um. Yeah! Food sounds great.
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[ Mako appreciates Wu not pushing right now. Not yet, not surrounded by people. The boardwalk is a terrible place to admit that Mako isn't even fully in control of his own body. There are so many eyes, and they don't know anything about the locals. That's like handing someone a knife and telling them your weak spot and trusting them not to use it.
No, thank you.
Mako can focus on food and shelter and then he can freak out.
He aims a small, grateful (ragged) smile at Wu as he pushes himself to his feet. ]
Can't explore a city on an empty stomach.
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Yeah, yeah! Let's go get more hotdogs, then we can explore.
[ And get Mako warmed up first. He still looks a little blue, his fingers ice in Wu's hand. He squeezes tighter, trying to warm him up without Mako knowing that's what he's doing.
He leads Mako slowly away from the water still on the ground, back toward the vendor. He wants to talk about it. He knows he shouldn't talk about it. But he really can't help it. ]
So, um. You can make ice now?
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Thinking that way isn't fair, though. Mako likes Wu when he's being honest, when he's letting himself ask the things he wants to ask, when he's being himself. He doesn't want Wu biting back his words in favor of brighter, shinier ones.
Which means, he knows, he has to answer. Mako stifles a groan. ]
Yeah. Apparently, you're not the only one who's changed since we got here. I just have to learn to deal with it and... icebend. I guess. Seems like a weird thing to suddenly be able to do. At least yours kind of makes sense.
[ Which is an understatement, but Mako's not about to admit how much he hates it with all these people around. He pulls Wu carefully toward the hotdog vendor, accepts three of them and hands one to Wu. Wu's definitely going to want another one. ]
no subject
[ Wu takes the offered hotdog with a small smile, staying close to Mako's side. He doesn't think it makes sense. It was jarring, more than jarring, when his friends were confused by seeing into his mind. He didn't mean to show Varian one of the worst days of his life, or Ryan another one, or Ange Varian's new powers. He doesn't mind sharing, but most of those aren't thing he would choose to share. He doesn't want to have to worry about accidentally sharing something when he touches someone. ]
It is weird for you to make ice! It's, whoa, Mako-- are you like Korra now? Can you bend all the elements?
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Just the ice. Believe me, I tried. The sand stayed put, and I definitely can't airbend. Or even waterbend. I don't think it's the same thing. It probably has something to do with my blood. Did I show you that?
[ They are, maybe, thanks to Mako, walking quite quickly up from the boardwalk all strung with lights. The sun has started to sink low and red into the west behind them, staining all the wood the color of blood. Mako can feel it on the back of his neck and he can feel it even more in his belly, tugging in a way it never did before. ]
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[ Wu shudders, thinking about it. He doesn't really want to see blood, even if it's Mako's. He's seen it enough, k tnx, when he had to dress the bullet wound he put in Mako's calf.
Fritter, perched on Wu's shoulders, leans down to try and steal some of his hotdog. Wu rips off a bit of the bun and offers it to her offhandedly ]
That would have been so cool! Well, you're one step closer to being the Avatar, big guy.
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[ Come on, Wu, you don't want all that responsibility either. Leave being a symbol to Bolin and Asami and Korra: Mako just wants to be Mako, and to know what that actually means. Maybe it's just the myriad physical transformations that are making it hazy and hard to remember. He wonders, idly, in a way he hasn't in years, what his mother would think of him now, wandering along a strange shore toward a dark city with his arm around the Earth King. ]
But my point is, my blood's blue. And... frozen. Weirdly.
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It's blue?!
[ Somehow that's weirder than his boyfriend suddenly being able to make ice and nearly freezing himself to the ground. He turns to look at Mako, mouth agape ]
It's really blue? How is it blue? Your blood was normal! Red normal! Before--
[ Right?! He would have noticed if Mako's blood wasn't read, wouldn't he.
Well, Mako does look pale. Wu reaches up to pull at his cheek. Huh. He doesn't have as much of a red tint under his skin ]
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[ Mako yanks his head back, which doesn't do anything except stretch his skin, which does in fact flush blue under Wu's fingers where once it would have gone pink. It's subtle, but yes: it's definitely blue.
Mako glares down at him, more huffy than anything, finally pulling himself free. ]
What was that? Obviously it was normal before. It was the squid thing. Something changed.
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[ It's weird. It's pretty damn weird. The tint of Mako's skin is so different now, different and pale and maybe he isn't just feeling bad, maybe he really is different.
But he lets Mako go, not wanting him to get too much more annoyed with Wu than he already is. That little hint of fear is still there, a pit in his gut that he's good at ignoring, but that rears its head whenever Mako gets like this, when he stops being amused by Wu and gets annoyed instead.
He really doesn't know what he would do without Mako. In Deerington, at home, in this new place, wherever they are now. He would be horribly lost without him.
He starts to eat the hotdog so he doesn't say anything else stupid. But Fritter grabs onto Mako's shirt and tugs, glaring up at him ]
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[ Mako asks again, this time a little more mystified and a little less annoyed, looking down at Fritter. She looks angry about something, but Mako's still rubbing at his cheek where Wu tugged at it, focused on his weird blood and how they're going to find someplace to stay. He'd heard earlier that there were plenty of houses, that they could just... have one, but Mako doesn't trust that at all. It's too good, too easy. If people could just give away houses with no catch, they'd've been doing that everywhere. ]
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Hey, hey, princess, it's okay. Mako's having a bad day. Give him a break!
[ Except Wu doesn't exactly feel great himself. His high of being somewhere new, of trying to understand it, of meeting new people, is starting to wear off, and he's kind of exhausted. He hasn't had the best day, either, and all he wants to do is lie down, but they don't have a place to lie down. ]
Um. Where are we going?
[ They're past the edge of the boardwalk now, surrounded by dark, imposing buildings, and he presses closer to Mako's side ]
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[ A few months ago, Mako probably would have left it at that: an answer to a question, and nothing else, no matter the other part of what Wu said, no matter the raccoon still glaring up at him with big dark eyes.
It's true, but the words still make guilt twist coldly through him. Mako isn't having a good day, but he doesn't need to take that out on Wu, who's been there since he woke up, who dragged him from the salt and the sand and held him until he remembered who he was.
Mako can't lean on him like this. He can't make Wu's life harder, no matter how shitty he feels.
The boardwalk gives way to a path, and Mako swallows, walking a little closer himself, untangling his arm from Wu's only to wrap it around his shoulders instead. ]
...I don't think any of us are having a great day.
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[ Wu leans into his side, and Fritter huffs a little, having to move to accommodate Mako's arm. Usually, she'd probably run up to Mako's shoulders instead, but she's still annoyed at him, and curls up between Mako's hand and Wu's throat. ]
Do you think there's a hotel? Boy, what I'd give for room service. Hot dogs are great and everything, but a guy can't just live on junk food!
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[ But his tone says more than enough about how Mako feels about that. At least in Deerington they woke up in houses. Mako has this vague idea that they'll claim one only to find it haunted or blood-covered or get kicked out by angry locals the next day, or charged more than either of them could ever afford. Wu doesn't exactly have a king's salary anymore.
He does quietly, covertly, scritch Fritter's ear in an offering of peace. ]
We'll figure something out. Hotel or house or... I don't know, I've slept in worse than alleys.
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[ Wu looks up at him again, aghast. It's so casual, how can he say that so casually? It hurts down in Wu's heart to think of Mako not having a bed to sleep in ]
We're not sleeping in an alley! When have you slept in an alley?
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Plenty of times. Street kid, remember? You just had to find the trash to make it softer.
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Maybe he willfully forgets it. His feelings aren't contained, are a roiling thing inside him, and they leak through the touch of Mako's arm around his shoulder, letting Mako feel the deep sadness that Wu feels when he thinks about Mako's past, the disgust he feels for his own self-centeredness. He has no idea his emotions are there, no idea that Mako can feel them.
Fritter whines, pressing her nose into Wu's throat. ]
Right. Trash. Um. We're not going to do that. We're going to find somewhere with beds and a roof and hopefully pillows and blankets and things like that.
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He's never felt sad about it.
Not really, even when he was a kid. At first Mako was numb, focused so hard on finding them places to stay that he barely had time to figure out how he felt about any of it. He and Bolin would curl up with pilfered sheets, making little forts in alleyways with whatever they could find, and Mako would burn trash like they were camping and tell Bolin stories until they fell asleep.
Until Bolin fell asleep.
Mako was too scared those first few months that someone would come upon them, hurt them like the other kids would threaten. He'd lie awake, his heart pounding at every small noise, full of fear and memories and mostly—mostly anger. Sadness has always transmuted to anger inside him, catching like kindling and burning hot enough to fuel him and keep him going.
Mako hasn't been sad about it in a long time.
So he doesn't know where this is coming from, doesn't recognize it as his own, and after a beat, feeling it well up cold and dark, he glances down at Wu, wondering. ]
I'm... not saying we have to sleep in an alleyway, just that we can't trust this place. We'll find a house, or a hotel. Don't worry. I'll figure it out.
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We'll figure it out.
[ Wu corrects him, and looks up at Mako with a small smile. ]
I guess we should look around! What kind of house would you want, assuming we can pick from any of them?
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