countryclub | APRIL 2022 TEST DRIVE MEME

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meme: tdm

APRIL 2022 TEST DRIVE MEME

Another month, another test drive meme! Our test drive memes are open to anyone interested - regardless of whether or not you join our game!

All Test Drive Memes are game canon. Players can choose to keep their TDM threads canon or not. TDM threads can be used for AC and can be used as your writing sample for your application.

Our TDMs serve as a way to build into the actual lore and worldbuilding of Deer Country and we strongly encourage everyone to enjoy and participate! Current players are always welcome to pull prompts from the TDM to reference on the Network or bring into logs as well as tag out to new characters top-leveling on the TDM itself.

Characters will always be able to actively die during TDMs as this is an extremely dangerous world. You can still have this be game canon! Check out how character death in Deer Country works here.

If you have any questions about the TDM, please ask down below!

IMAGE DESCRIPTORS IN ORDER OF APPEARANCE
Prompt One
[Image One: Delicious, Gelatinous Fruit Treats]
[Image Two: Women in white dancing around a May Pole (Animated)]

Prompt Two
[Image One: A woman turning away from a mirror. ]
[Image Two: A woman trapped inside a mirror with disembodied hands grabbing at her. ]

Prompt Three
[Image One: A Forked Trail on a Wooded Path]
[Image Two: The Grim Reaper at the end of a sewer tunnel]

[NAVIGATION]

TDM Questions • Reserves • Taken • Applications • Full Navigation

[Jump to Comments]

A MOSTLY PLEASANT ARRIVAL

WHEN: May
WHERE: The Farther Shores/The Boardwalk
CONTENT WARNINGS: Forced honesty, personality changes, physical changes.

Congratulations, sleeper! You're one of the lucky ones to arrive in a month that is not awful to come ashore. The transformational process is almost alarmingly quick and painless. In fact, it is so quick that it is deceptively easy to change back into a squid and do it all over again! Partial transformations are not uncommon during this month for the first twenty-four hours after arriving, and even brief transformations of minor facial features like hair color, eye color, height, weight and a few more extreme possibilities have been known to happen. Don't worry, because the transformations are all temporary and none are inherently monstrous (Unless you already are a monster, in which case good luck with that!). Greeters are present in force to help accommodate you as you make your way, your welcome backpack and items all freshly and neatly cleaned and ready for you as they put the robe on. Everything is so welcoming and inviting that it almost seems like they're having a party.

This is, in fact, because they are. The Wild Moon is about and festivities are in full swing throughout the month of Bauphomette. May poles are set up and it is possible to dance around one if you should wish. Doing so can help to ground oneself in their current form, which may help new arrivals settle in a bit better. Even ignoring that, it feels good to sing and dance, and everyone is very friendly. Even the usually grim Hunters who guard the roads and entries to the shores seem to have less stern smiles on their faces, though their eyes are ever watchful to keep the peace of the festivities.

SEASONAL DETAILS ON THE BOARDWALK
Decorations this month are decidedly floral in nature. Everyone is dressed in white, regardless of their usual preferences. Flowers adorn many of the people of Trench and the weather throughout the first week of May is pleasant. Even if it rains, it is a refreshing, light and pleasant rain, and there are many awnings and umbrellas to take shelter underneath.

And of course, there's refreshments. What festival in Trench would be without them? The foods this month have a very floral theme to them. Edible flowers have been grown and prepared especially for this time of year. They've been used to help create infused and gelatinous sweets, Floral spring rolls and edible flower cookies and the like, along with floral teas that are meant to calm the mind. Additionally, the people of Trench will note that any of the foods present can have a beneficial, albeit transformative effect on the mind and body. They promise it won't last long, but if you're really concerned there is hard tack and water available that's quite filling.

Changes from Food will last a few hours at most. There are several options available among the drinks and foods. These may be combined as the player sees fit. Drinks have mental effects, while Treats have physical ones, the Trenchies will inform:

Pomegranate Juice: Sweet and tart, anyone who drinks it or has some of the fresh pomegranate and seeds will feel compelled to speak nothing but the truth. Pomegranates are found littering makeshift shrines to Bauphomette throughout the party, and Trenchies insist they are free to take.
Petal Infused Hot Tea: Pungent and aromatic, it is relaxing. The heat gives a warmth and vibrancy that fills a person with confidence, to the point of arrogance and fearlessness, leading the emboldened to try something that they might not otherwise do, even if it's very risky!
Floral Iced Tea: While refreshing, it feels like there's something just a little lacking, and anyone who drinks some will feel that they need more but not what they need more of at first, making them clingy and affectionate towards other people, especially strangers.
Iced Water: It's not the tastiest, but has a way of washing things away. Water can cleanse and remove the effects of other drinks, though it leaves the person feeling emotionally drained if it is used this way.

Floral Spring Rolls: Trying one of these surprisingly edible treats will have the added effect of giving a person plant traits temporarily. Hair may convert into tresses of ivy or carefully manicured moss, or perhaps a mushroom cap! Skin might become bark-like or chlorophyl green. The more that one eats, the more that they change.
Gelatinous Sweets: These curiosities come with a note. “Have you ever wondered what it is like to walk in someone's shoes?” Eating one has a profound physical effect, causing a person's appearance to transform into that of another person in Trench! It may not even be someone they've met, or seen yet! It would be awkward to meet someone, not looking the way you're supposed to, or worse? Looking like them!
Edible Flower Cookies: They come with lovely notes saying “Eat Me!” What could be sweeter? Well, like something out of Alice and Wonderland, eating one can cause a person to grow or shrink by a foot. More cookies can cause the height difference to become worse and worse, though if you're only a foot tall, it's a good way to end up an inch tall! So, maybe eating more to fix the problem is risky.
Hard Tack: Like the water, it can fill the stomach and remove prematurely any physical effects, though if it does so, removing a physical change physically drains the character.

A DIM REFLECTION

WHEN: May
WHERE: Throughout Trench
CONTENT WARNINGS: Paranoia, existential dread, hallucinations, possession-related horror.

They warned you about mirrors. Every once in a while, one of the locals in Trench might have whispered it, made a sign of warding when they passed by mirrors, but nothing seemed out of place. They told you that you might see yourself in it, and you would never be the same. However, every time you've looked it's been fine. So, maybe they were being superstitious about something? It certainly wouldn't have been the first time someone had gotten paranoid about nothing in Trench, would it?

How wrong you were. Maybe it was when you were looking down at a puddle rippling in a light breeze. It might have been a formerly polished piece of bronze covered in tarnish that adorned a building. Perhaps it was that lovely bit of obsidian in the shop where you caught your reflection garbled by the shape. It happens only when a reflection is seen in a distorted surface, especially those that are naturally occurring, though occasionally damaged and weathered surfaces that were polished will work. When you were looking at the image, it seemed to look back at you and something was wrong, distorted, imperfect. By then it was too late.

The natives were right. You saw some part of yourself there in the mirror. It might be something that you've hidden from others for a long time, or it might be an exaggeration of a single part of yourself that you aren't proud about. What it is, is a distorted and incomplete part of yourself, something that you try to keep controlled and in check, and it was there, smiling at you and winking. The moment it winked, it was like you were riding in your own skin, watching and unable to act as you changed into a self that reflected that distorted, unnatural and incomplete side of yourself. What shadows do you hide from yourself?

This effect lasts for, at most, one solar cycle. From the rising of the sun to its setting, or the moon to its setting, the effect can last no longer than that. Especially strong-willed people, particularly palebloods, can end this effect sooner through force of will, though it usually lasts at minimum an hour. The character is, for the duration of this effect, changed in personality to behave in accordance with some singular aspect (of the player's choice) of their personality that they do not usually focus on in their day to day behavior. This change can be subtle, or it can be drastic and even dangerous. Its goal is to make sure that everyone sees and witnesses this change, and goes out of its way to impact others in a memorable fact, making sure that they see there is more to the character than what they are revealing. This could be relatively innocuous or extremely dangerous, depending on the person, and the whole while the dominant personality is riding inside their skin, forced to watch what is happening.

THE ROAD NOT TAKEN

WHEN: May
WHERE: Dream worlds
CONTENT WARNINGS: Existential dread, disturbing visions

It happens when you are asleep one night. There is no warning for this effect, and it comes without apparent cause. One night, you go to sleep, and then suddenly you find yourself in a dreamscape, on a path. You can sense eyes on you the whole time that you are present in this field, and though they have a sense of benevolence to them, there is a deeply alien element to the experiment, almost like you are being observed by a scientist through a microscope. You are not alone on the path, either. One, or possibly more than one, other people that you may know or not know, they seem to have entered the same dreamscape. Behind you is nothing but shadow, and before you is a path. Might as well get going if you want to wake up, right? That's how these things work.

Introductions and questions aside, there's nothing but the path and dense, impenetrable woods on both sides, so eventually you and your companion start walking. As you do, shortly you see a branch in the path ahead of you. The fork has two paths, one of which shows the traffic of many feet, footprints grooved well into the worn cobblestones and mud. One of you will somehow recognize that the footprints are their own, and will notice that the other path has no footprints or very few. That is when the compulsion hits. It is inexorable and impossible to deny, the curiosity to see what is down the path that those footprints do not travel.

Travel, walk and taking that path, you will be treated to a vision. It is a moment in the dreamer's life, where they see something that happened in their life, which involved a choice. Did they go left or right? Did they say yes, or no? A choice they made, even one that seemed immaterial at the time, had some profound effect, and now you and they watch as the other choice was taken. And, within the hour, you will see the results, to your horror. Something terrible will happen to them. It could be anything, but it will be life-shattering, perspective altering and ghastly. They might even die from the experience or see a loved one die. The horror of it will still be in your hearts as you stand there for a moment, trapped in the sight of the aftermath, trying to come to terms with what you have just seen, and just at this moment, after a few parting words are said, both will wake up in a cold sweat.

The event that plays out can be from either character. Close CR is not required. Bauphomette has summoned the characters into the dream directly, and is sharing a distorted mirror of an opposite choice that could have been made. Actual “What if” canon events such as alternate timelines in Supernatural could be used for this, or the entire event can be concocted for this scene. The characters themselves are witnesses, and cannot be personally harmed in any physical way, but the horrific ending for the 'vision' version of the one whose dream this can be as awful as desired and take any form wished so long as it is unpleasant. Please be aware and mindful of each other's Content Warning Preferences in setting these scenes up.

CODING

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[-- someone who is, unfortunately, about to be greeted with all the sensitivity of a wrecking ball. Because after quietly getting next to Gilbert and struggling with his own thoughts, Oz rolls with the first whacky outburst that crosses his mind:]

What the heck! I thought you were gonna quit smoking, Gilbert!

[Gilbert had wished Oz would show up as well. He hadn't expected it to happen immediately, but it was a thought that often went through his mind since arriving, one that kept him awake. If Gilbert could end up here, couldn't the same be said for Oz? His best friend and master had a penchant for ending up in the strangest situations. Perhaps this time, it would work in their favor, perhaps time didn't work the same here. Until then, he would wait for Oz and Alice.

But he hadn't imagined in his wildest dreams that he wouldn't have to wait that long at all. Gilbert doesn't seem to react at first, still other than the rising of his shoulders. The teasing goes over his head. No matter how much time had passed, or where he ended up, Gilbert would always recognize that voice. It could be a hundred years later, and he would still recognize that voice as vividly as if it were yesterday.

Once Gilbert's body catches up with the rest of him, he turns to look behind him. The cigarette falls out of his mouth, thankfully extinguishing soon after because he doesn't think to stomp it out. It's not a dream. Oz is really here... He's here. He's safe, and alive. Despite the tears in his eyes, he can see that clear as day.]

Oz!

[He seems to choke on the words, too emotional, too grateful and elated to speak. Getting on his knees, he pulls Oz into a hug, clinging to him tightly.]

Whoa- Giilberrtheyy!

[Oz is thrown off his game when Giblert pulls him into such a tight hug. A whirlwind of emotions rushes forth and threatens to tear the playful mask from Oz's face: Happiness to see Gilbert, sadness over the way they parted, anger that Gil is here, happy not to be alone, scared to know his friend is now here. Oz is able to conclude that his negative feelings are for the Trench. The lightness in his heart is for Gilbert.

So he returns the hug. Lightly, with some embarrassment accompanying these emotions. And some tears. Oz turns his head so that Gil can't see those.]

Y, you're making a scene. The people here think I'm cool, you know...

[They don't. And even if Gilbert tried to break the hug now, it would only make Oz cling. This is so embarrassing, but let him have it for at least a full minute!]

... I've been waiting.

[There are so many emotions Gilbert is feeling all at once. He isn't sure if there is a proper word in any dictionary or language to describe how light he feels, as if he was hugging a ray from the sun itself. No, Oz is so much better than the sun, he's Gilbert's precious friend and master, and he's safe. His laughter at the comment sounds on the verge of a sob, but he doesn't cry, not yet. It's just so very much like Oz to say something like that. He missed him so much.]

I think you're cool...

[He stammers out pathetically, too grateful and relieved to care how uncool he ends up sounding. His hug tightens at first. He doesn't pull away, but he does lift up his head to try and meet Oz's eyes and smiles at him. He hopes Oz doesn't notice the tears he's trying his hardest to keep at bay.]

I'm sorry I made you wait.

Edited 2022-05-03 11:17 (UTC)

[DON'T SAY THAT, GILBERT, Oz feels some second hand embarrassment over that pathetic stammering. Because the worst thing about Gilbert is that he's probably being sincere in saying that. Which isn't a bad thing, but Oz is too embarrassed to admit that.

Looking up at his best friend's face only makes it that much worse. Oz is also fighting against his tears and it is a struggle to keep his lips pulled into a stubborn frown. It's also very hard to glare at Gilbert and play the part of a bratty master right now.]

As you should be. Fortunately, Break has developed a knack for cooking and cleaning in your absence. [But enough about Break later. Oz has been apart from Gilbert for a long while and has no intention of sharing him yet.

He does break their hug and remove a handkerchief from his suit pocket, popping up on his tiptoes to make a dabbing motion at Gilbert's eyes.]

And if you're going to do that, at least commit to it! We don't do things half-heartedly, after all! We're too cool for that! [hypocrite.]

[Of course he's being sincere. Gilbert feels a bit guilty he's embarrassed his master, but only a little. He's overjoyed that he can embarrass Oz. He had planned on waiting for as long as it took, but he never imagined he would be so fortunate to see him again so soon.

Oh...they're both trying their hardest to act strong. Gilbert's smile is affectionate, albeit watery. He wants to pat Oz's head to reassure him, but that would involve moving, and he refuses to break the hug. However, he's happy to play along as the loyal but somewhat pathetic servant, briefly forgetting his script. He's so confused that he can only whisper.]

Break is here? How-- [Wait. Oh no. Break is cooking for them?! That's a hazard! His smile drops as he starts to fret, looking aghast.] You let Break handle the cooking and cleaning?! Is it really that bad? Has anyone gotten sick yet?! Are you all right, Oz?!

[The gentle motion and sudden absence of his best friend's embrace silences Gilbert's nonstop questions. He leans down a bit, trying to help, another weak laugh escaping as he smiles apologetically.]

I'm sor-- [He can't finish his sentence before he bursts into tears. He didn't want to cry before Oz. Here, have some headpats while he cries.]

Edited 2022-05-06 22:33 (UTC)

[At a later time, Oz will proudly tell Gilbert about how Break has become a good cook. He'll be happy to explain how their strange family unit has settled and they're all doing well. But the selfish desire to have Gilbert to himself takes priority. He lowers his head when accepting the headpats, embarrassed as much by his own tears as his goofy smile. Oz has been so worried about Gilbert. He's been afraid that being in the Trench meant removing himself from the reincarnation cycle and breaking their promise. Having Gilbert here alleviates a lot of guilt.]

I'm glad that you made it. Now I don't have to miss your omelets anymore! Living without your cooking was rough.

[Or, you know. Miss you. Living without you.]

[Gil will think it's one of Oz's pranks, but he will be relieved and elated to hear about everything else. But they can talk about everything later. He just wants to spend this time with Oz. He brushes his hand through Oz's golden hair, smiling at him fondly.]

Do you have any ingredients at home? [Home. Gilbert is home.] I could make you one soon, if you'd like.

...I missed you so much, Oz.

['Home.'

Oz feels an unfair warmth rising in his chest. He'd always known that Gilbert would find him eventually, but buried that hope out of habit. He didn't want to be disappointed. Now his hope and faith is paying off, and Oz is elated. Finally, he can find some peace in his afterlife. Selfish as it may be.]

Y, yeah! We have some ingredients! [He rubs his face, laughing through the urge to cry. How long has it been since he felt that hand through his hair? Oz was ready to wait an eternity for it.]

Eheh... Has it even been long since you saw me? It was only six months for me. [And it has been killer.]

[Out of everyone Gil knows, Oz deserves the chance to get to be selfish. Perhaps that is selfish of Gil to think, but he wants his master and friend to be happy, he wants him to be honest with his feelings without worrying about burdening others. Gil ruffles Oz's hair a bit more, making it messier than usual, and grins even as the tears flow freely down his face.]

We can go shopping for more of the foods you like later too. [Later, not now. Gil just wants to spend this moment with Oz. Seeing his tears, he pulls him back into a protective hug, pausing for a moment before answering.]

It's been about six months for me too. [Strange.] But it's felt like an eternity. Oz-- I have so much to tell you, sometime.

[Later. They have all the time in the world to catch up now.]

[Oz nearly puts on a show of complaining. "I won't be cool if you mess up my hair," or something similar. A childish retort in order to guard his heart from all of these emotions; A barrier to prevent him from grabbing Gilbert in another hug. But Gilbert overcomes that barrier before it can even be put up. Oz sinks forward, bringing his arms around his friend and clinging again.

It's fine. Gilbert is his servant. One of his jobs can be hugging, or something.]

We'll have so much to tell you too. Break, Ada, Echo, Alice... Both of them too. [Oz is more shy when he next admits;] I knew you were coming eventually. I waited, you know!

[He may never tell Gilbert just how much he's waited. That gets embarrassing. Gilbert doesn't need to know how many monsters took his shape and lured Oz into trouble either.]

[Gilbert's heart feels like it's been replaced by a piece of the Abyss itself, glittering and light. They've been through and sacrificed too much not to hug now and Gil doesn't want to let go just yet. Not when he's lost him twice and Oz feels solid and alive.

It's alright, Gil is selfish and knows as much, but more importantly he knows how dear Oz is to him. He'll happily use his role as Oz's servant as an excuse.]

T-they are? [He doesn't move even as he sounds surprised, clinging more. He doesn't understand much about this place, but he doesn't need to at this very moment. This world reunited him with Oz. There's no word that expresses how grateful he is to be here.]

I'm sorry, it was my job to wait and I kept you... Thank you, for waiting and for believing in me.

[Despite how useless he is.]

[An easy response would be to get on his tiptoes and ruffle Gilbert's hair back, threatening him like a bratty master with all kinds of scoldings and punishments. But being against Gilbert like this is warm and comfortable. Oz doesn't want to break apart yet, especially knowing that Gilbert will be swept away into a whirlwind of reunions. He'll have to share him and he will, begrudgingly, do so.

For the moment, Oz presses his face closer and keeps the devious smile to himself. The tone, however, is not so much of a secret.]

Hmmm~ You're right. I did wait. I'll have to punish you with cooking duty or something.

[Oz is trying to lighten their mood before they cry a new ocean at each other.]

But I would have waited 100 years anyway. 6 months is early compared to that.

But I enjoy cooking. That’s not much of a punishment.

[Gil laughs quietly at his master’s teasing, resting his chin on the top of Oz’s hair to keep him there for now. Other reunions can come later. His eyes are still misted over but he’s no longer about to start sobbing again.]

I know you would have, but I’m so happy you didn’t have to…

Me too.

[Oz curls his fingers into the back of Gilbert's clothes. Gil only has one arm for hugs, so Oz decides to graciously make up the difference with both of his. He doesn't necessarily hate the smell of Gil's extinguished cigarette or the salty smell of the ocean sticking to him. This is nice. Oz has missed being with Gilbert and not having a crisis looming overhead.]

I have a lot to tell you later. About this place, about what's happened here... But welcome home. We finally get to live together.

[Gil never regretted asking Raven to burn the arm that hurt Oz, not even for a second. But he is grateful Oz makes up for the hug for him, just like how he helped him tie his scarf the way he wanted it in the past. He is truly lucky to have such a kind master and friend...

It is nice. Gil didn't have much time to say goodbye, but now he has a lifetime to catch up, which is so much better. He tightens his one arm around Oz, a smile in his voice.]

Thank you, Oz. I'm finally home... Please, tell me everything.

[Oz is silent for a moment longer, soaking up the familiar warmth that is Gilbert's most precious existence. Being able to hold onto him as a 'welcome back' instead of a final goodbye and to stand in peace like this is all too good to be true. He knows he could stay this way for hours, both because it's comfortable and he's afraid Gil will disappear if he doesn't hold on.

So, naturally, Oz racks his brain for an outrageous thing to say. Something that will allow them to part, without either of them immediately bursting into tears. Hmm, how to start filling Gil in, how to start... oh!]

Ada and I started practicing dark magic!

[It's better than anything Gil would have dared to wish for, so he understands and shares Oz's fears. He wouldn't mind standing here for hours. He'd stand here til Oz fell asleep and happily carry him home over his arm if he needed to, although...he doesn't know where Oz and the others live.

Before he can ask while still hugging Oz, because that kind of information is important, his master says something that renders his brain completely useless.]

You-- What are you both doing?!

[Well, it gets them to part, with Gil now gripping Oz's shoulder, firm but never harsh as he starts to panic.]

Oz!!! You can't go around practicing dark magic! Why would you and Miss Ada do something so dangerous?!

[Fret fret fret. He starts looking at Oz's face, hands, squatting and looking for anything that could indicate he may have been hurt. Any dust on his clothes, a loose thread--]

Are you alright?! Are you hurt?!

[Eheh~ Oz thinks, looking at Gilbert with his smile unwavering, This side of Gil is good too.

Gotta keep his friend on his toes, after all! And Oz should eventually explain to him that the entire town is soaked in occult rituals and blood magic. However, straight up saying that would a) boring b) gloomy. This way is so much more... sophisticated!

~~bully, the word oz is looking for is "bully."~~]

Oh, yes~. We're right as rain. It's been a wonderful way to bond! We even practice blood rituals and worship some new deities, ohoho.

[Oz holds up his arm and points to his wrist.] Also, my blood is toxic now! ♡

[How he missed that smile. Gilbert even missed Oz's bullying. It was fine if it was from his master, it helped him feel needed.

It's also reassuring in that it helps convince Gil that this is real, and not simply a dream or illusion. That doesn't stop him from staring at Oz in disbelief and horror, while his heart sinks with guilt. He should have arrived sooner. Alice didn't have the judgment to determine whether this was a good idea, and he was going to give Break an earful for allowing Oz and Ada to do something so dangerous!]

Blood rituals--

Have you hurt yourself?!

[He's definitely imagining all of the worst possible scenarios, but then he looks physically hurt when Oz calls his own blood toxic. This is his fault, isn't it? He should have been here.]

D-- DON'T SAY THAT ABOUT YOURSELF, OZ!!! I'M SURE YOUR BLOOD IS PERFECT THE WAY IT IS!

[Relinquishing his grip to cradle Oz's wrist in his palm, Gil's eyes start to tear up again in confusion and worry.]

[Oz wants to make sure that his smile never wavers. He'd like to tease his pure-hearted friend for a while longer. As awful as it is, Gilbert's wish is granted: This harsher side of their relationship assures Oz that even his most awful, vile traits don't mean he deserves to be tossed into the Abyss. He laughs lightly at Gilbert's antics, intending to play for a while longer, but stops abruptly when Gilbert takes his wrist.

ah.

Gilbert has won this battle too.]

It's okay, it's okay. I'm mostly kidding. [Though he does feel embarrassed now. His "vileblood" is a sore spot for Oz. Having Gilbert treat him like this is oddly grounding.]

This place is called 'the Trench' and it's spoo~ky. They obsess over blood and magic and stuff here. We squidy people have special blood that lets us use magic. And mi~ne is poison. It's been hard for Alice and I, eheh.

[Gil would never forgive that pitiful excuse of a father for the pain he had put Oz and his family through. No matter how many years would pass, that fire could continue to burn, ready to engulf anyone who dare imply otherwise about his master.

But he could not forgive himself either. Not for being so selfish and not noticing just how much Oz had been hurting. How he had taken care of Gil and hid his sadness and pain behind a sunny smile. Really, he's such a pathetic servant...

He stays kneeling and holds Oz's wrist delicately, as it is the wrist of his precious friend. No matter what...]

You will always be Oz to me. My master and dearest friend.

[He murmurs to himself. Plush rabbit, human, squid, normal blood or magical poisonous blood-- none of it matters to Gilbert. He doesn't even wince this time when he hears the word squid, looking up at Oz apologetically.]

I'm sorry. You both were carrying this burden. Does it... [He doesn't really completely understand it, and he has to pause as he thinks.] Does your blood hurt you?

Edited 2022-05-26 17:32 (UTC)

[It's unfair how quickly the teasing atmosphere can evaporate in this warmth. Oz only casts the slightest of glances to his wrist and the careful way that Gilbert holds it. He's long since pushed his anxieties out of his own mind. What good would it do Oz to worry about having vileblood in his veins? That word is a part of him now and that used to horrify him. Gilbert lifting the lid on those feelings should unleash a torrent of anger or something, right? But instead, Oz is able to smile and look at those feelings with calm.

He looks back to his friend's face and shakes his head.]

The opposite. It numbs my body. Sometimes I can't feel anything.

[Oz offers to lower his hand and dismiss the topic. He doesn't want to rain on their reunion parade.]

But I'm alright now. It's just blood.

[Alright?

Gil's irises appear almost hollow, horrified by this news. There is nothing about what Oz just said that is alright.

He doesn't understand. Did a deity do this to Oz? If so, he would kill them. He doesn't care who it was. Oz had already been through hell and back. They had all done more than enough and deserved some peace. How dare they--

He may be Oz's loyal servant, but Gil follows his heart now. It's just that it usually leads to Oz. He can't accept his soothing smiles and calming words, not when they're hurting him. He no longer looks lost, but determined.]

Then I will feel for you! If you're hurting but numb, it's okay if I get hurt too! I don't mind! And if you aren't hurt but you can't feel, you can tell me! [He lets go of his wrist so that he can squeeze his hand, warm and solid.]

I will hold on for as long as you need, and make sure that you don't get hurt in those moments.

[Oz is shaken. The smile even falls from his face like a loose mask, leaving a wide eyed and stunned expression in its place. There's a pain in his chest that vileblood can't numb. The bond between Gilbert and him can be so warm, but it can also be incredibly painful. His eyes meet Gil's, but Oz knew his friend was sincere. Everything about Gilbert is so sincere: He's the one unshakable force in this world that Oz can always believe in.

Slowly, his other hand comes around to cover Gil's.]

... I know. I'll tell you.

[The smile that tugs at his lips is small, tinged with sadness, but sincere.] I can feel you right now. Thank you, Gil.

[For now, that's enough. Oz is glad that his blood isn't getting between him and this reunion.]

Your blood might be different too. I'll help you with whatever that brings too.

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cw: self-harm

cw: toxic behavior

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cw: some more toxic behavior & implied self-harm

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