droptheious: (Under the circumstances)
Varian ([personal profile] droptheious) wrote in [community profile] countryclub 2021-08-21 04:47 pm (UTC)

I did. So that- that's how it really happened?

[It leaves an unsettled feeling in his stomach- to see how distressed Wu had been, to feel it. After all, Varian's been on the other side of this. He took the queen hostage, tried to kill her. He caused that pain and fear Wu felt in her family. It's not helping his current edginess about the whole powers situation.

The hand on his back is grounding, and he lets out a slow breath. It's fine. He's with Mako and Mako is safe and good and has heard about the absolute darkest parts of Varian's life and did not leave. If there's anyone in this entire town he can trust with all the growing panic he's got inside his chest, it's Mako.
]

I don't do magic, it's not- that happens to other people, not me. [And while he's not as dismissive of it as he once was, he's not thrilled with having it in him, and it shows in his tone.] And I don't- I don't know how to control it.

[Which is the real crux of the problem he looks down at his hands, opening and closing his fingers.]

I'm scared I'm gonna hurt someone with this, because fire's a lot and it can cause so much damage. I mean, Fern's made of grass, it'd kill him in no time at all. [Panic is really starting to slip into his tone- he lets his enormous protective walls down far more around Mako than he does most people in town, the air is heating up around him as he starts to babble. ] And I can't be the cause of him dying again. Or anyone else.

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