He knows very well, and it is maybe too telling that he flinches visibly and has to look away from Nie Huaisang's face, has to close his eyes when his voice breaks around the shape of his grief. Jin Guangyao cannot decide, for a moment, whether he is relieved or angry that he will probably survive this experience and live to spend another day in Trench, knowing that he will once again have to pick up the weight of this familiar, miserable burden and labour at keeping Huaisang from ever uncovering the truth.
But then he remembers that even if he does suffer a terrible death via qi deviation, the ocean will likely just spit him back out onto the shore anyway, and so he decides that he feels nothing.
He pats Huaisang's hand for lack of any other real means of comforting him. He's so weak that even keeping his eyes open takes tremendous effort.] I'm fine, [he lies, and then,] Huaisang, can you... reach my omni, in my robe pocket? I have to--[a pause to draw in more air into his lungs, was breathing always such an ordeal before?]--tell Er-ge and Shen-gongzi what has happened.
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He knows very well, and it is maybe too telling that he flinches visibly and has to look away from Nie Huaisang's face, has to close his eyes when his voice breaks around the shape of his grief. Jin Guangyao cannot decide, for a moment, whether he is relieved or angry that he will probably survive this experience and live to spend another day in Trench, knowing that he will once again have to pick up the weight of this familiar, miserable burden and labour at keeping Huaisang from ever uncovering the truth.
But then he remembers that even if he does suffer a terrible death via qi deviation, the ocean will likely just spit him back out onto the shore anyway, and so he decides that he feels nothing.
He pats Huaisang's hand for lack of any other real means of comforting him. He's so weak that even keeping his eyes open takes tremendous effort.] I'm fine, [he lies, and then,] Huaisang, can you... reach my omni, in my robe pocket? I have to--[a pause to draw in more air into his lungs, was breathing always such an ordeal before?]--tell Er-ge and Shen-gongzi what has happened.