[His head snaps up. Eyes red-rimmed and wet, Jin Guangyao has to blink a few times to make Lan Xichen's face swim into focus again. He stares back at him, incredulous.]
You're--... Zewu-jun has done nothing that requires forgiveness..! Did you not hear me, did you not hear what I just said?
[an almost manic edge comes into his voice, as if some part of him is desperate to provoke--something, some kind of blame, or fury, or anything at all, so long as it isn't the regret, the guilt, that Lan Xichen has turned inward on himself.]
I killed him, Er-ge. I killed him, and I regret that it was necessary, but it was necessary.
[his voice softens like silk across steel,]
I'm not sorry. Because if I hadn't killed him first, he would have killed me. You could not be there to stop him every time. One day, he'd have cut me in half.
no subject
You're--... Zewu-jun has done nothing that requires forgiveness..! Did you not hear me, did you not hear what I just said?
[an almost manic edge comes into his voice, as if some part of him is desperate to provoke--something, some kind of blame, or fury, or anything at all, so long as it isn't the regret, the guilt, that Lan Xichen has turned inward on himself.]
I killed him, Er-ge. I killed him, and I regret that it was necessary, but it was necessary.
[his voice softens like silk across steel,]
I'm not sorry. Because if I hadn't killed him first, he would have killed me. You could not be there to stop him every time. One day, he'd have cut me in half.