[ He takes a deep breath in, willing himself to admit it: ] Yes.

[ It's nothing shameful, he knows as much, but it's hard not to feel that way when the person he respects most would have dismissed it as a weakness. ]

A lot of soldiers do. When you've been through something like that your mind can keep going back to it, over and over. When I was thrown into the jungle it felt like I was eighteen again, being shot at by the enemy.