[vi watches this curiously, quietly now - the lopsided swimming catches her attention, but that's part of the transformation, isn't it? It had taken Alayne to talk her through recovering part of an arm, her leg, too, that first time - and she still isn't sure how much she'd be able to just ...manage. Still, her swimming hadn't been lopsided, but she'd also been confident - and how confident could she expect jinx to be right now.
even with the good parts - it's overwhelming. vi isn't the most well adjusted of people, she's got her issues, but hers are, when she weighs them against what she thinks are her sister's - hers come up short, and with an easier time of shifting the blame if she wants. to silco, to marcus, even to powder, to jinx, if she's honest. none of that is wholly accurate - but it's always been a bit of an easier reach, a shove off when she isn't willing to acknowledge the complexity of ...everything.
the guilt she feels? (her little boo hoo problems) it's nothing compared to powder's. because she'd been powder, then. vi? vi had made (a bad call. and it cost her ...her sister. her freedom. when she digs deeper it maybe cost her more than that. but she's not interested in digging there just now. she cannot begin to imagine the weight of the guilt jinx must feel - a more direct route of blame. the voices in her head that she's seen her talk aloud to - ghosts of that guilt made manifest - and what they whisper? she can only guess at. what she guesses is terrible enough.
so. take that and drop a girl into the ocean. turn a girl into a squid and back again and what do you get.
vi stares into the water as her sister's squidform shakes, flails and points at something unseen. she doesn't know what to do. so she plunges a hand into the water, pointing in the same general direction the jinxsquid 'shoos' at, speaking softly:]
Hey, whatever that is, don't listen to it. Or look at it. [she points at it, her voice raising a little, and her finger extending into another tentacle to flick in the invisible assailant's direction.] Fuck off, whoever you are. You're making her upset, and that's a dick move.
no subject
even with the good parts - it's overwhelming. vi isn't the most well adjusted of people, she's got her issues, but hers are, when she weighs them against what she thinks are her sister's - hers come up short, and with an easier time of shifting the blame if she wants. to silco, to marcus, even to powder, to jinx, if she's honest. none of that is wholly accurate - but it's always been a bit of an easier reach, a shove off when she isn't willing to acknowledge the complexity of ...everything.
the guilt she feels? (her little boo hoo problems) it's nothing compared to powder's. because she'd been powder, then. vi? vi had made (a bad call. and it cost her ...her sister. her freedom. when she digs deeper it maybe cost her more than that. but she's not interested in digging there just now. she cannot begin to imagine the weight of the guilt jinx must feel - a more direct route of blame. the voices in her head that she's seen her talk aloud to - ghosts of that guilt made manifest - and what they whisper? she can only guess at. what she guesses is terrible enough.
so. take that and drop a girl into the ocean. turn a girl into a squid and back again and what do you get.
vi stares into the water as her sister's squidform shakes, flails and points at something unseen. she doesn't know what to do. so she plunges a hand into the water, pointing in the same general direction the jinxsquid 'shoos' at, speaking softly:]
Hey, whatever that is, don't listen to it. Or look at it. [she points at it, her voice raising a little, and her finger extending into another tentacle to flick in the invisible assailant's direction.] Fuck off, whoever you are. You're making her upset, and that's a dick move.