loopsbian: (208 ♤ i won't be gentle to)
satoko hojo | 北条 沙都子 ([personal profile] loopsbian) wrote in [community profile] countryclub 2022-07-27 02:47 am (UTC)

cw: discussion of death, suicide, satoko

How many...? [ that gets a laugh from her, high and energetic. ] Saint of Woe, please, try to understand! If I'd bothered to keep count of such things, I'd have lost myself long ago. Though, let's see... I wonder...

[ perhaps it's idle boredom. perhaps it's genuine endearment towards this barely-contained, primal shriek of a being trapped in the shell of a human woman. but regardless, satoko stops what she's doing and thinks- genuinely thinks, doing some arithmetic in her head. ]

...mm, there were a few hundred or so before I remembered any of it. [ a promising start. ] A few decades, maybe another century's worth after that? I still bothered to live most of those out, rather than just leaving immediately. Those were some of the most memorable deaths, if I may speak frankly! I still thought myself some degree of human, after all. And despite what some people may think, suicide most certainly isn't painless. Especially when most are simply so bad at it.

[ and if that were it, it'd be easy enough - but it still wouldn't be enough to explain the raw death this girl exudes. she continues. ]

A hundred years of quietude, while I watched most of the ones I'd missed. And then I got tired of drifting along, and took matters into my own hands.

[ she chuckles, an almost nostalgic tone entering her voice. ]

Sometimes I'd make a little game of it. I remember a digital lock, once - one of those ones with eight digits, you know? And I killed myself each time I guessed wrong. Would you believe I still remember the code? One-three-two-zero-one-two-three-four. Goodness, I couldn't even tell you how many centuries ago that was...

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