February 2022 Test Drive Meme

[reddosmod]

FEBRUARY 2022 TDM

Another month, another test drive meme! Our test drive memes are open to anyone interested - regardless of whether or not you join our game!

All Test Drive Memes are game canon. Players can choose to keep their TDM threads canon or not. TDM threads can be used for AC and can be used as your writing sample for your application.

Our TDMs serve as a way to build into the actual lore and worldbuilding of Deer Country and we strongly encourage everyone to enjoy and participate! Current players are always welcome to pull prompts from the TDM to reference on the Network or bring into logs as well as tag out to new characters top-leveling on the TDM itself.

Characters will always be able to actively die during TDMs as this is an extremely dangerous world. You can still have this be game canon! Check out how character death in Deer Country works here.

If you have any questions about the TDM, please ask down below!

IMAGE DESCRIPTORS IN ORDER OF APPEARANCE
Prompt One
[Image One: Carnival booths at dusk]
[Image Two: Gif of a scantily clad woman walking near a large blinking automatron clown head.]

Prompt Two
[Image One: A giant spider impales small boy in a black silhouette platform game.]
[Image Two: Laughing woman with nothing but a mouth on her face.]

Prompt Three
[Image One: Dice being tossed in slow motion.]
[Image Two: Overgrown mansion in the woods.]

[NAVIGATION]

TDM Questions • Reserves • Taken • Applications • Full Navigation

[Jump to Comments]

A Less Than Typical Arrival

WHEN: Last few days of February into mid-March
WHERE: The Farther Shores/The Boardwalk
CONTENT WARNINGS: Clowns, creepy dolls, extortion?

---

When you arrive, the process is as easy and comfortable as turning from a squid into a Sleeper can ever be. The weather is almost balmy and blossoms bud on the trees. Pink blooms float out like cherry blossoms across the coastline. It is comfortable enough out that you might be tempted to strip down to your shirt. However, you would be the outlier: the people of Trench cover every inch of their skin and wear their gloves. Despite the pleasant weather, there's an ominous feeling and dark clouds over the ocean in the distance.

Oh, don't pay any mind to that! There's a festival going on on the boardwalk. Trenchies beckon Sleepers forward, and they'll find that along with food stalls that offer typical carnival treats (fried dough, corn dogs, etc.) are carnival games of chance. Ring tosses, dart throws, claw grabs. All of the games seem to rely more on luck than skill, and there are gambling tables set aside for people to play against each other.

Among the prizes, Sleepers see familiar items from home, as well as their welcome bag items, such as their Omni. Their welcome bag can also be won, but inside they'll find only their Lamp Friend. All the items usually in the welcome bag can, and by the end of the arrival will, be won by them, but not always for free.

While most games are free to play, some Trenchies may ask for a small vial of blood, or a song, or a joke. Less common are Trenchies who may ask you to work at their business to pay for playing their game. If you're lucky, a kind Waker and/or veteran Sleeper may come by and play for you. However you play (or don't), it feels like an unseen hand is guiding the fortune to ensure that the right items end up in the right hands. The longer you play, the more you regain, the more you feel like someone is watching you.

If you find yourself at the carnival at night, you'll find an edgier crowd, and an energy in the air that inspires a risky kind of fun. You may meet more corrupted and unusual people who greet new arrivals with their idea of a welcome. Nobody is violent, but you may want to be more on guard with your possessions after you regain them. The food and games are the same, but Trenchies are more likely to take advantage of new Sleepers. Costumes that some wear are more risqué and counter-culture. You may find yourself dragged to play a drinking game by a joyful but slightly uncouth looking Trenchie in clown make-up. The prizes to win at the booths that sit next to your own items are unsettling looking but… harmless. Probably.

F.A.Q.

1. Sleepers can identify which Trench item, such as Omni, Lunar Orb etc., is theirs by either a label with their name on it or that presence watching them from behind urging the knowledge into their mind. Suddenly they will just know it is theirs and that someone watching them somehow gave them that knowledge.
   
2. It may be assumed that, regardless of 'how,' the Sleeper's welcome bag items are acquired by the end of their time at the carnival. The Moss King ensures that nobody ends up walking away with the wrong items, ensuring a loss or a gain here and there to manipulate fortune just right. But any number of awkward and fearful possibilities exist in the meantime while you roll the dice!
   
3. There are carnival rides at all hours, but they are limited to: carousel, ferris wheel and House of Mirrors. At night, the House of Mirrors becomes a House of Horrors.

Luck Be a Lady

WHEN: Last few days of February into mid-March
WHERE: All over Trench.
CONTENT WARNINGS: Giant spider, forced combat, creepy mouth face ghost lady

---

[From A SURVIVOR'S GUIDE TO THE UNKOWNS OF TRENCH, written by and added onto by many Arcane Scholars through the centuries and found in the Archives.]

"There are a number of phenomena, plant-life, creatures and entities big, small, incorporeal, corporeal, so on and so forth that have yet to be defined. Are they more Pthumerians, half-Pthumerians, a creation of one, a product of blood pollution? We simply do not know, but that only increases the need for understanding how to survive them when they appear. Yes, many appear benevolent, for now. But many more have their dangers and caveats...
THE LADY OF LUCK
An ironic name to be sure and what is theorized to be a being or phenomena with some sort of connection with the Moss King as it only ever occurs in the beginnings of his designated month, after all. Anyone who experiences a moment of good luck or chooses to take a gamble that pays off will soon find themselves tested by the Lady of Luck. A card will suddenly appear in the hand of the lucky person seemingly out of thin air.

The moment the card is turned around to view its face, the holder's fortunes and fate will shift depending on which letter or symbol on the wheel they look at first, and not all will have an effect. Every year the effects change without repetition, records of each have been lost to time and have no value for the purposes of this guide. The only common advice recorded over the years amounts to one word: win. If you do not, misfortune awaits."

This year's tests by Lady Luck are as follows:

T: Reality distorts around you and anyone within a twenty foot radius is pulled into a cylinder of bright colors. The afflicted are made to dodge giant falling candy and work together to push them into sets of three matching candies until they crush together and eventually there is only one row of piled giant candies. If successful, the cone keeping them in that colorful nightmare will drop and characters will find the candies they crushed were objects in the area at the time. A bag of hard candies replace the card in their hand as a reward. When the candies are sucked on, you will feel energized and gain the ability to float.

A: This time the world shifts to appear two dimensional and black and white, you and everything around you are reduced to a black silhouette. You have to leap from moving platforms, solve puzzles and climb ladders. To get to levels above or below you, you must break through with a leap to punch up or stomp down. The goal is to reach a clear finish line and what drives you forward is a massive black spider. Many of the puzzles and obstacles require two people to solve and get over. When you reach the end, your card will be replaced with a white feather. It's a single use item that can revitalize anyone you place it on. Also, you have indeed been jumping through the roofs and floors of businesses and houses etc.

O: A clear force field forms up around you and the nearest sleeper, anyone else in the area or who is walking by will be able to see you inside this cage. Suddenly music begins to play, dance music to be precise. And a hologram of what you're expected to do appears between you in the large area: dance battle. Literally. You are expected to fight Mortal Kombat style, but most of your moves must be some form of dance move. Lights and holographic dancing figures will appear in the area with you to cheer on your match. You can fight till one person is K.O.ed or killed. Yes, there will be a 'finish him' announcement upon your victory. If you refuse to participate you both lose. The winner's card becomes a gold coin that allows you to charm anyone to do what you wish once a year.

"After each phenomena, some sufferers report seeing a woman in the distance laughing so wide it appears she has nothing but a mouth. She makes no sound and appears only briefly, but she has earned this phenomena the nickname 'Lady Luck'. Many attribute it to her direct influence, but thus far it is not clear whether she is the cause or a symptom. Many theorize that the point of these occurrences is to test whether the individuals affected are worthy of the gift of luck."

F.A.Q.

1. Yes, the first scenario is Candy Crush meets Tetris. I am not sorry. And the feather in the second is in fact a phoenix down.
2. The consequence for losing each of these is exceptionally bad luck for a day or several days depending on player preference. Bad luck can be lethal.

The Moss King's Summer Home

WHEN: Until the Second Week of March
WHERE: Unknown Location outside Trench
CONTENT WARNINGS: Perceived Death by Spontaneous Combustion, Acrophobia, Possible violent death, temporary insanity, cursed items

---

The morning after your first day in Trench, or the morning after new Sleepers arrive, there is a small envelope marked with your name within easy reach. Without realizing it you feel compelled to open it. Three things drop out of the envelope: a six-sided die crafted of what looks deceptively like bone, a small white pill, and a hand-written note.

“Dear friend,

I have had the good fortune of acquiring a new summer home outside of Trench and thought to share my good fortune with the Sleepers of the city. Take the pill, then roll the die to come to me. One visit per Sleeper.

-The Moss King.”

What could go wrong? Then again, given the Moss King's love for life and death gambles, what could go right? The moment you roll the die, before you can see the side it lands on, you explode in a shower of self-immolation and gore, only to be recombined painfully at the Moss King's summer house. The house is shaped like a giant die, and you're in front of the face you rolled. Hope it wasn't a one!

• Rolled a 1: Congratulations, you're crushed under the giant die and wake up in a coffin in the cellar. How much air do you have left and how do you get out? Scream loud!
• Rolled a 2: You're in front of a conservatory. When you walk through the glass door, it's impossible to avoid the itching ivy. You're going to be uncomfortable and scratching for hours...
• Rolled a 3: You're in luck, you're at the front door! When you ring the doorbell, the sound outside is positively deafening and your ears will ring for hours.
• Rolled a 4: Crawling in the master bedroom window like a burglar from the private porch. How uncouth. Even worse is the security measure, which dumps a can of paint on your head, leaving your hair and skin some unholy and nauseating color for the next hour.
• Rolled a 5: The backdoor seems almost harmless, and in fact? It is. Nobody expected you to come in the back door, you barbarian. Better wipe your feet on the floor mat or you may never get the mud out of your shoes. No, seriously, wipe your feet or you'll be slipping and tripping every couple minutes for the next few hours.
• Rolled a 6: Hope you're not afraid of heights, because you're falling from pretty far in the sky and through the roof below. Thankfully the shingles and mattress beneath somehow break your fall into the attic, but it probably hurts like hell.

Once you're inside the house, you find a quaint, strange space. There's a surreal sitting room decorated with flowers and moss hanging down the walls and the smell of lilacs fills the air. Tea and cakes are set out for guests and you seem to have the run of the house. There are spare bedrooms that you can stay the night in and when you wake the next day, you will be in your own bed in Trench feeling extremely well rested.

Around the house, there are strange objects and curiosities, some of them very familiar and some that just seem useful. You can find at least one item from your own world here, something of great significance, or even something that you thought was lost forever. Or instead of an item from home, what catches your eye is one of the small potions that says 'drink me,' or a strange, useful tool that you find in the closet, or even a wabbajack. No, seriously, it could actually be the wabbajack. The Moss King's a bit of a hoarder when it comes to the strange and surreal things people have lost in bets. Almost anything is possible. A note is attached to the item you want with a promise: “Give and take, tit for tat.”

You can take one item from the house, for a price. Should you have been 'unlucky' enough to have rolled a one or a six? You're now in luck, the Moss King considers that suffering a fair trade. If you rolled any other number, you must leave something behind. If you do, your item is yours to keep. If you decide not to make the trade, you can spend your time in this surreal home, surrounded by hoarded knick knacks as long as you care to.

If you choose not to spend the night, leaving the summer home is a lot easier than entering it: just go out the front door... and then walk along a winding path that allegedly leads back to Trench. It looks and feels like it's going to take forever. Space warps here and you can feel it, it's uncomfortable but not painful. Before you know it, the walls of Trench are visible through those woods and you are in Trenchwood again. Be wary, though, monsters lurk and odd mushrooms with varying unpleasant effects such as hallucinations grow along this path home.

F.A.Q.

1. If characters try to enter the house in a different way than the number they rolled, they'll instantly teleport back to their starting point.
2. Despite what the note says, characters can visit the home again by rolling the die, but the pill that was taken the first time can't be replicated.
3. If they decide not to take the pill, or you visit again, they feel like the house keeps shifting around them, tilting and distorting and revealing horrors in the walls, what horrors they see is up to you. The painful process to get there will be even more harrowing and hard on the body as well. But there's benefit to continuing to go back: the objects you can take.
4. Items taken that are not special items from home and invented by you must either be a one-time use item or a weaker benefit multi-use item. One time use items would be for if you want to give your character an especially big benefit like a staff that instant heals lots of people or a big death laser, multi-use items would have lesser abilities such as providing more endurance in a fight or healing small scratches.
5. The more times your character visits and items they take, the more unpredictable the items become. It's on them for ignoring the note saying you may come only once. You may grab an enchanted sword that's supposed to make you stronger on your third visit, but find when you use it, the enchantment will randomly have the opposite effect. Single use items will also be subjected to this drawback and after their one big beneficial use, the item will become cursed and hard to get rid of, always finding its way back to you. What kind of curse your single use item generates is up to the player. Players may also decide on the method it will take to get rid of their cursed object so long as it's not simple.
6. The price characters pay to get each item may be any range of things: another item from home, any object of general value or personal value, a good amount of your blood (enough to make you woozy when you're done), a small but important memory, if you rolled a 6 and were badly injured falling through the roof or rolled a 1 and suffered escaping the coffin.

CODING

Comments

[thisislife]

[she's looking carefully at the steps as well, but they look like plain black squares of...not plastic, but something like it. dark stone?

and that earns a chuckle] Literally washed up, yeah. But I've never seen anything like this. Not in real life back home, at least. [a wince] My home's kinda weird. But because of the people more than the place.

[which was the understatement of the century, really. the hard part hadn't been what to include in her play, but what to edit out]

[hopesparks]

[ Anakin doesn't have much to say about his life "back home," considering it's still a bit of a blur. He does have the sense that his home is pretty weird too, if not the place, then the experiences.

He hoists himself up onto the next block-- still steady, nothing strange. ]

Weird in a good way or a bad one?

[thisislife]

[it was all right, not everyone felt like sharing the intimate details of their lives with a total stranger.

up she goes as well]

Weird in a "would you all shut up and talk about your problems," way.

[hopesparks]

[ Anakin lets out a laugh that surprises even him. ]

That sounds like a common problem, actually.

[ He doesn't need to remember much to remember that. ]

[thisislife]

[his laugh makes her chuckle a little in response]

Is it? Ugh, of course it is. Most problems would be wrapped up in a day if people just talked about them.

[but she's used to looking after her older sister. and her mother. she wouldn't want to say that she had to grow up too fast, but there are days when she feels weary]

[hopesparks]

[ Her chuckle makes him feel a little better, like he's not floundering as much as he thought he might be. ]

People have to listen to the talking, though. That's almost as hard, right?

[ A blurry face becomes a little sharper-- dark brown hair, brown eyes, an exasperated expression. His mother, a diplomat. ]

(CW: alcoholism)

[thisislife]

[he's not. getting her to maintain a conversation, especially a conversation with a guy could be pretty challenging]

Harder. You should have heard my mom and dad towards the end. Both of them would talk--or yell--and I'm pretty sure neither understood a word the other one had said.

[she loves her mother, she really does. but it had been glaringly obvious for years that her mother was an alcoholic. and her dad's problems--no. that could wait. had to wait until later]

[hopesparks]

[ Anakin pauses and turns to look at her directly. She's revealed something deeply personal, and he wants to say something sympathetic that doesn't sound dismissive. ]

In an argument like that, someone has to back down first. I'm sure that's hard, even when it's family.

It must've been frustrating. But, in the end, someone outside of the argument can only do so much.

(CW: drug abuse, cancer)

[thisislife]

[she's not used to something she's said getting a reaction like that. Cassie thought that their dad could do no wrong, but at the same time was their mother's favorite. and Rue was Rue, so she hadn't wanted to bother her with Lexi's own problems while her dad was dying of cancer.

that and Rue had already been crushing and snorting her dad's pain pills]

It is. I just kind of...kept to myself. [and made herself smaller in her own home, in her own family. there for everyone, but no one really there for her. but she knew complaining wouldn't get her anywhere]

Yeah. I don't think my parents should have been married. At least not to each other. It's one of those things, you know? [she's trying to reassuring. here, to this borderline stranger. she knows she really needs to stop that, to let her voice be heard, but knowing it and doing it were two different things]

[hopesparks]

[ Again, Anakin weighs her words carefully. (Part of him wonders if it's frustrating that he doesn't answer right away. If he's always been like this or if the knock to his head shook something loose.)

He understands instinctively what it feels like to withdraw into yourself. Sometimes the world is too much-- too loud, too overwhelming, too chaotic. Sometimes you just want to think.

He doesn't know that he knows what it's like to meet a couple that shouldn't have been married. The idea of two people being bad for each other, though, is a fairly simple concept. ]

Instead of bringing out the best in each other, they only made each other's flaws worse. Something like that?

(CW: addiction, underage revenge porn, humiliation)

[thisislife]

[she'd say that she was used to people not knowing what to make of her, especially when compared to her beautful blonde-haired and blue-eyed older sister, Cassie. Cassie who drew stares from everyone as soon as she entered a room, leaving time for Lexi to slip inside without much fuss.

she tells herself she preferred it that way, but Lexi always wondered what it might be like to be hot. to be the one universally admired for her beauty and charm. to be a 34-DD instead of a 32-A, not to be too crude.

Cassie had been convinced that their dad could do no wrong, even as he slid further and further into addiction. and their mother had been convinced that Cassie could do no wrong, even as asshole guys showed her explicit footage and asked her if that was her sister, as though they didn't already know.

she'd burned on her mother's behalf, on her sister's. it was disappointing that no one seemed to burn for Lexi's behalf]

Yes. That's it. That's it, exactly. I mean, my father would flirt with a stone and all of the local moms thought he was hot. And my mom, even back then was chugging back a bottle of wine per night. That's a bad combination no matter how one tries to look at it. I tried to rely on Cassie, my older sister, but...it usually happened that she relied on me.

[hopesparks]

[ The more Lexi talks about her family, the more the memories of his family piece together. He has an older sister, Jaina, who has their mother's appearance and fire but also their father's skill and mischief. His mother, compassionate but never handing out false sympathy, someone who could command a room even though she's shorter than he is now. His father, whose sarcasm and roguish smirk mask the quick-witted and loyal man underneath. Jacen, his brother, whose outlook on life never matched with Anakin's, but who would champion those who couldn't speak for themselves.

Anakin misses them so much that he feels himself reaching for them in his mind, as if they'll suddenly appear. For a moment, he feels incredibly alone. But he takes those memories and bundles them up, letting the steadiness of finally getting more of his memory back ground him again. Memories of the past should not distract from the present, but they can strengthen his resolve. ]

I have an older sister, Jaina. She can stop my brother and I from arguing with a few words and a pointed look. She keeps us together, steadies us. I hope I do the same for her. It must be hard to be the calm in the storm, trying not to blow away too.

[ He might be making assumptions. But she seems like she doesn't have her own steadying force. Otherwise she wouldn't be telling him, a stranger, all of this. He finds he doesn't mind; in fact, it feels familiar. People talking to him about their greatest joys and deepest fears, a witness to their anger and elation in equal parts. Maybe having his own anchor makes it easier to help someone else. ]

[thisislife]

[to hear that, Lexi would be surprised. she's used to only belonging into her own little crucible, letting Rue and Jules in, but only as long as Lexi was a third wheel. and to talking to Fez, but with the understanding that they were friends and friends only. Lexi didn't let herself hope for anything more. she knew she was the sidekick, not the star attraction, no matter how she let herself fantasize otherwise.

she'd love to have her resolve strengthened, even if it was through an outside source]

Yeah. Being the calm...it kind of sucks. At least in my experience. I have my mother, she needs a calm, my older sister, Cassie, she needs one, too. And my best friend, Rue. She really, really, really needs one. Although she would be the last to admit it.

[Lexi has no idea of what it might be like, being her own steadying force. not even after her and Cassie's dad was so badly injured, she still had to stay strong for Cassie and her mother. and her father. who hadn't called or texted in at least a year. the last time Lexi remembered seeing their father was when he took them out for ice cream, then passed out on a nearby bench.

Cassie didn't seem to remember anything wrong. Lexi only seemed to remember all of the wrong]

[hopesparks]

[ Anakin glances briefly in the direction they came. Nothing is there, but a prickle runs down his spine and something unknown whispers danger is coming.

He turns and climbs up the next block, waiting for her on the edge, in case she needs a hand. ]

It sounds lonely.

[ It slips out without much thought. Maybe he shouldn't presume, he thinks. Still, it sounds lonely. And being lonely sounds particularly miserable to him. ]

(CW: drug dealers)

[thisislife]

[she can't help but feel the presence of danger as well. call it a sixth sense, call it paranoia, she didn't care. but as long as she acknowledged it within herself, she could call it whatever she pleased.

she does. the next block is steep and though she's tall, it's not quite tall enough to make it in one move, at least not with any bit of grace.

and she finds herself saying] It was. Mom and Cassie both...they needed me. I have to wonder who they'll turn to now.

[lonely was miserable. maybe that was why she was so willing to keep taking to Fez, despite telling herself that a drug dealer and an Honors Student had no future]

[hopesparks]

[ Anakin helps pull her onto the platform and gives her a moment to steady herself. The danger is getting closer, but they still have a little time.

There's nothing he can say to that, no assurances he can truly give her that would be believable. ]

There isn't much we can do here for the people we care about back home. [ He flashes her a small, sad smile. ] We can only have faith in them. And ourselves.

sorry for the delay!

[thisislife]

[she grasps his hand tightly as he did so, then breathing out audibly as she looked around herself. it was like an Escher painting brought to life.

she'd rather have the truth, anyway. she knew her older sister lied to herself, that everything was fine when something clearly wasn't, had been doing it for years. Lexi preferred the truth]

No, I know. I just--wish I could email them or something. [her smile is as small, but she can't help hoping] Mom will take care of Cassie, she's always been mom's favorite, anyway. With any luck, that will keep them busy. And it seems like I'm gonna have to have more faith than ever.

no worries!

[hopesparks]

[ He's not sure what an email is, but he understands what she means. He wonders if Jaina will worry after him the way she worries after her sister. He hopes not-- she has another brother to look after.

As for having faith... ]

Well we've made it this far.

thank you! 😀

[thisislife]

[she sort of wished that Rue would worry about her, too, but she knew the other girl was drowning in her own problems and didn't need another one added to it.

and she nods and tries to look confident]

We have! In pretty good time, too, if there's a timer. I hope there's not a timer, but you'd think that would be out in the open. Right?

💗

[hopesparks]

[ Anakin stands up straighter and tries to bolster her confidence with his own. ]

Yeah. [ But the idea of another possible point of failure makes him a little uneasy.

Still, he knows they can handle it. ]

We'll be fine as long as we stick together. Come on, it looks clear up ahead.

[ A very long platform stretches out before them. It does look clear of obstructions. Which should, of course, indicate that something isn't quite right. ]

Please, please app in March! ❤

[thisislife]

[and she appreciated that. she tended to respond well to confidence in other people. like they were buoying her up at the same time. which she knew would sound weird, so she'd never say so out loud.

she notices that he looks uneasy, so maybe it was her time to project confidence. so she tried to look as sure of herself as she was of him. besides, maybe it was time to start being sure of herself in the first place? she didn't know how exactly, but without Cassie or her mom or Rue, she knew she had to be strong]

I know we will. As long as we stick together, we can figure this out. Right?

[and when she sees the platform, all she can think of are the puzzles in video games where one had to maneuver from one spot to the next because the other spot would provoke an immediate fall to their deaths]

I will have to see if I can scrape an app together lol

[hopesparks]

[ Anakin observes the platform in front of him. He can't ignore the threat of the spider gaining behind them, but there's also something about a path forward so clear of obstructions that makes him uneasy.

He can't see anything immediately, so he turns to Lexi. ]

Any idea what the trick is to this one?

[ If needed, he'll dash forward first and face the threat head-on, but he likes to plan. Especially when someone else is involved. ]

/crosses her fingers!

[thisislife]

[the platform looked like something out of a Super Mario Brothers game. one that probably had at least one spot which would crumble if stepped upon. and, giant spider. she really didn't want to be eaten by Shelob, maybe if the platform crumbled under one of them, the other could pull the other one back up.

she looks at Anakin with clear concern on her face]

I've played video games like this before. The platform's probably rigged to collapse in a couple of places, but usually the games would at least have them marked so you could have your avatar try to jump over them. There's got to be a trick like that here, but I really can't see where. [she said, sounding sheepish.

she liked to have a plan, too, but she was having a hard time seeing what one might be under the circumstances]

[hopesparks]

[ Lexi's read on the situation sounds not only plausible but likely. He sees the concern on her face and gives her a small reassuring smile.

Unfortunately, a loud inhuman hissing behind them indicates they're out of time. They're going to have to take a leap of faith and hope they don't fall through. ]

We're out of time. Let's go!

[thisislife]

[shitshitshitshitshit, GIANT SPIDER. giant spider which is even worse looking than she ever imagined possible holy shit, is it actually dripping venom?

yes. yes, it was dripping venom.

shit]

Wait, wait, let me go first, if it collapses, you'll have an easier time hauling me up than I would with you. Okay?