February 2022 Test Drive Meme

[reddosmod]

FEBRUARY 2022 TDM

Another month, another test drive meme! Our test drive memes are open to anyone interested - regardless of whether or not you join our game!

All Test Drive Memes are game canon. Players can choose to keep their TDM threads canon or not. TDM threads can be used for AC and can be used as your writing sample for your application.

Our TDMs serve as a way to build into the actual lore and worldbuilding of Deer Country and we strongly encourage everyone to enjoy and participate! Current players are always welcome to pull prompts from the TDM to reference on the Network or bring into logs as well as tag out to new characters top-leveling on the TDM itself.

Characters will always be able to actively die during TDMs as this is an extremely dangerous world. You can still have this be game canon! Check out how character death in Deer Country works here.

If you have any questions about the TDM, please ask down below!

IMAGE DESCRIPTORS IN ORDER OF APPEARANCE
Prompt One
[Image One: Carnival booths at dusk]
[Image Two: Gif of a scantily clad woman walking near a large blinking automatron clown head.]

Prompt Two
[Image One: A giant spider impales small boy in a black silhouette platform game.]
[Image Two: Laughing woman with nothing but a mouth on her face.]

Prompt Three
[Image One: Dice being tossed in slow motion.]
[Image Two: Overgrown mansion in the woods.]

[NAVIGATION]

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A Less Than Typical Arrival

WHEN: Last few days of February into mid-March
WHERE: The Farther Shores/The Boardwalk
CONTENT WARNINGS: Clowns, creepy dolls, extortion?

---

When you arrive, the process is as easy and comfortable as turning from a squid into a Sleeper can ever be. The weather is almost balmy and blossoms bud on the trees. Pink blooms float out like cherry blossoms across the coastline. It is comfortable enough out that you might be tempted to strip down to your shirt. However, you would be the outlier: the people of Trench cover every inch of their skin and wear their gloves. Despite the pleasant weather, there's an ominous feeling and dark clouds over the ocean in the distance.

Oh, don't pay any mind to that! There's a festival going on on the boardwalk. Trenchies beckon Sleepers forward, and they'll find that along with food stalls that offer typical carnival treats (fried dough, corn dogs, etc.) are carnival games of chance. Ring tosses, dart throws, claw grabs. All of the games seem to rely more on luck than skill, and there are gambling tables set aside for people to play against each other.

Among the prizes, Sleepers see familiar items from home, as well as their welcome bag items, such as their Omni. Their welcome bag can also be won, but inside they'll find only their Lamp Friend. All the items usually in the welcome bag can, and by the end of the arrival will, be won by them, but not always for free.

While most games are free to play, some Trenchies may ask for a small vial of blood, or a song, or a joke. Less common are Trenchies who may ask you to work at their business to pay for playing their game. If you're lucky, a kind Waker and/or veteran Sleeper may come by and play for you. However you play (or don't), it feels like an unseen hand is guiding the fortune to ensure that the right items end up in the right hands. The longer you play, the more you regain, the more you feel like someone is watching you.

If you find yourself at the carnival at night, you'll find an edgier crowd, and an energy in the air that inspires a risky kind of fun. You may meet more corrupted and unusual people who greet new arrivals with their idea of a welcome. Nobody is violent, but you may want to be more on guard with your possessions after you regain them. The food and games are the same, but Trenchies are more likely to take advantage of new Sleepers. Costumes that some wear are more risqué and counter-culture. You may find yourself dragged to play a drinking game by a joyful but slightly uncouth looking Trenchie in clown make-up. The prizes to win at the booths that sit next to your own items are unsettling looking but… harmless. Probably.

F.A.Q.

1. Sleepers can identify which Trench item, such as Omni, Lunar Orb etc., is theirs by either a label with their name on it or that presence watching them from behind urging the knowledge into their mind. Suddenly they will just know it is theirs and that someone watching them somehow gave them that knowledge.
   
2. It may be assumed that, regardless of 'how,' the Sleeper's welcome bag items are acquired by the end of their time at the carnival. The Moss King ensures that nobody ends up walking away with the wrong items, ensuring a loss or a gain here and there to manipulate fortune just right. But any number of awkward and fearful possibilities exist in the meantime while you roll the dice!
   
3. There are carnival rides at all hours, but they are limited to: carousel, ferris wheel and House of Mirrors. At night, the House of Mirrors becomes a House of Horrors.

Luck Be a Lady

WHEN: Last few days of February into mid-March
WHERE: All over Trench.
CONTENT WARNINGS: Giant spider, forced combat, creepy mouth face ghost lady

---

[From A SURVIVOR'S GUIDE TO THE UNKOWNS OF TRENCH, written by and added onto by many Arcane Scholars through the centuries and found in the Archives.]

"There are a number of phenomena, plant-life, creatures and entities big, small, incorporeal, corporeal, so on and so forth that have yet to be defined. Are they more Pthumerians, half-Pthumerians, a creation of one, a product of blood pollution? We simply do not know, but that only increases the need for understanding how to survive them when they appear. Yes, many appear benevolent, for now. But many more have their dangers and caveats...
THE LADY OF LUCK
An ironic name to be sure and what is theorized to be a being or phenomena with some sort of connection with the Moss King as it only ever occurs in the beginnings of his designated month, after all. Anyone who experiences a moment of good luck or chooses to take a gamble that pays off will soon find themselves tested by the Lady of Luck. A card will suddenly appear in the hand of the lucky person seemingly out of thin air.

The moment the card is turned around to view its face, the holder's fortunes and fate will shift depending on which letter or symbol on the wheel they look at first, and not all will have an effect. Every year the effects change without repetition, records of each have been lost to time and have no value for the purposes of this guide. The only common advice recorded over the years amounts to one word: win. If you do not, misfortune awaits."

This year's tests by Lady Luck are as follows:

T: Reality distorts around you and anyone within a twenty foot radius is pulled into a cylinder of bright colors. The afflicted are made to dodge giant falling candy and work together to push them into sets of three matching candies until they crush together and eventually there is only one row of piled giant candies. If successful, the cone keeping them in that colorful nightmare will drop and characters will find the candies they crushed were objects in the area at the time. A bag of hard candies replace the card in their hand as a reward. When the candies are sucked on, you will feel energized and gain the ability to float.

A: This time the world shifts to appear two dimensional and black and white, you and everything around you are reduced to a black silhouette. You have to leap from moving platforms, solve puzzles and climb ladders. To get to levels above or below you, you must break through with a leap to punch up or stomp down. The goal is to reach a clear finish line and what drives you forward is a massive black spider. Many of the puzzles and obstacles require two people to solve and get over. When you reach the end, your card will be replaced with a white feather. It's a single use item that can revitalize anyone you place it on. Also, you have indeed been jumping through the roofs and floors of businesses and houses etc.

O: A clear force field forms up around you and the nearest sleeper, anyone else in the area or who is walking by will be able to see you inside this cage. Suddenly music begins to play, dance music to be precise. And a hologram of what you're expected to do appears between you in the large area: dance battle. Literally. You are expected to fight Mortal Kombat style, but most of your moves must be some form of dance move. Lights and holographic dancing figures will appear in the area with you to cheer on your match. You can fight till one person is K.O.ed or killed. Yes, there will be a 'finish him' announcement upon your victory. If you refuse to participate you both lose. The winner's card becomes a gold coin that allows you to charm anyone to do what you wish once a year.

"After each phenomena, some sufferers report seeing a woman in the distance laughing so wide it appears she has nothing but a mouth. She makes no sound and appears only briefly, but she has earned this phenomena the nickname 'Lady Luck'. Many attribute it to her direct influence, but thus far it is not clear whether she is the cause or a symptom. Many theorize that the point of these occurrences is to test whether the individuals affected are worthy of the gift of luck."

F.A.Q.

1. Yes, the first scenario is Candy Crush meets Tetris. I am not sorry. And the feather in the second is in fact a phoenix down.
2. The consequence for losing each of these is exceptionally bad luck for a day or several days depending on player preference. Bad luck can be lethal.

The Moss King's Summer Home

WHEN: Until the Second Week of March
WHERE: Unknown Location outside Trench
CONTENT WARNINGS: Perceived Death by Spontaneous Combustion, Acrophobia, Possible violent death, temporary insanity, cursed items

---

The morning after your first day in Trench, or the morning after new Sleepers arrive, there is a small envelope marked with your name within easy reach. Without realizing it you feel compelled to open it. Three things drop out of the envelope: a six-sided die crafted of what looks deceptively like bone, a small white pill, and a hand-written note.

“Dear friend,

I have had the good fortune of acquiring a new summer home outside of Trench and thought to share my good fortune with the Sleepers of the city. Take the pill, then roll the die to come to me. One visit per Sleeper.

-The Moss King.”

What could go wrong? Then again, given the Moss King's love for life and death gambles, what could go right? The moment you roll the die, before you can see the side it lands on, you explode in a shower of self-immolation and gore, only to be recombined painfully at the Moss King's summer house. The house is shaped like a giant die, and you're in front of the face you rolled. Hope it wasn't a one!

• Rolled a 1: Congratulations, you're crushed under the giant die and wake up in a coffin in the cellar. How much air do you have left and how do you get out? Scream loud!
• Rolled a 2: You're in front of a conservatory. When you walk through the glass door, it's impossible to avoid the itching ivy. You're going to be uncomfortable and scratching for hours...
• Rolled a 3: You're in luck, you're at the front door! When you ring the doorbell, the sound outside is positively deafening and your ears will ring for hours.
• Rolled a 4: Crawling in the master bedroom window like a burglar from the private porch. How uncouth. Even worse is the security measure, which dumps a can of paint on your head, leaving your hair and skin some unholy and nauseating color for the next hour.
• Rolled a 5: The backdoor seems almost harmless, and in fact? It is. Nobody expected you to come in the back door, you barbarian. Better wipe your feet on the floor mat or you may never get the mud out of your shoes. No, seriously, wipe your feet or you'll be slipping and tripping every couple minutes for the next few hours.
• Rolled a 6: Hope you're not afraid of heights, because you're falling from pretty far in the sky and through the roof below. Thankfully the shingles and mattress beneath somehow break your fall into the attic, but it probably hurts like hell.

Once you're inside the house, you find a quaint, strange space. There's a surreal sitting room decorated with flowers and moss hanging down the walls and the smell of lilacs fills the air. Tea and cakes are set out for guests and you seem to have the run of the house. There are spare bedrooms that you can stay the night in and when you wake the next day, you will be in your own bed in Trench feeling extremely well rested.

Around the house, there are strange objects and curiosities, some of them very familiar and some that just seem useful. You can find at least one item from your own world here, something of great significance, or even something that you thought was lost forever. Or instead of an item from home, what catches your eye is one of the small potions that says 'drink me,' or a strange, useful tool that you find in the closet, or even a wabbajack. No, seriously, it could actually be the wabbajack. The Moss King's a bit of a hoarder when it comes to the strange and surreal things people have lost in bets. Almost anything is possible. A note is attached to the item you want with a promise: “Give and take, tit for tat.”

You can take one item from the house, for a price. Should you have been 'unlucky' enough to have rolled a one or a six? You're now in luck, the Moss King considers that suffering a fair trade. If you rolled any other number, you must leave something behind. If you do, your item is yours to keep. If you decide not to make the trade, you can spend your time in this surreal home, surrounded by hoarded knick knacks as long as you care to.

If you choose not to spend the night, leaving the summer home is a lot easier than entering it: just go out the front door... and then walk along a winding path that allegedly leads back to Trench. It looks and feels like it's going to take forever. Space warps here and you can feel it, it's uncomfortable but not painful. Before you know it, the walls of Trench are visible through those woods and you are in Trenchwood again. Be wary, though, monsters lurk and odd mushrooms with varying unpleasant effects such as hallucinations grow along this path home.

F.A.Q.

1. If characters try to enter the house in a different way than the number they rolled, they'll instantly teleport back to their starting point.
2. Despite what the note says, characters can visit the home again by rolling the die, but the pill that was taken the first time can't be replicated.
3. If they decide not to take the pill, or you visit again, they feel like the house keeps shifting around them, tilting and distorting and revealing horrors in the walls, what horrors they see is up to you. The painful process to get there will be even more harrowing and hard on the body as well. But there's benefit to continuing to go back: the objects you can take.
4. Items taken that are not special items from home and invented by you must either be a one-time use item or a weaker benefit multi-use item. One time use items would be for if you want to give your character an especially big benefit like a staff that instant heals lots of people or a big death laser, multi-use items would have lesser abilities such as providing more endurance in a fight or healing small scratches.
5. The more times your character visits and items they take, the more unpredictable the items become. It's on them for ignoring the note saying you may come only once. You may grab an enchanted sword that's supposed to make you stronger on your third visit, but find when you use it, the enchantment will randomly have the opposite effect. Single use items will also be subjected to this drawback and after their one big beneficial use, the item will become cursed and hard to get rid of, always finding its way back to you. What kind of curse your single use item generates is up to the player. Players may also decide on the method it will take to get rid of their cursed object so long as it's not simple.
6. The price characters pay to get each item may be any range of things: another item from home, any object of general value or personal value, a good amount of your blood (enough to make you woozy when you're done), a small but important memory, if you rolled a 6 and were badly injured falling through the roof or rolled a 1 and suffered escaping the coffin.

CODING

Comments

[entreats]

Well..

[ The word hangs in the air for a moment, Ange's voice trailing off as she seems to think for a moment. But no matter how much she turns it, in the end she keeps reaching the same conclusion. ]

I guess we're the same then, you and I.

[ In this way, at the very least. It seems like Bernkastel only invites people onto the game board if it's to do this sort of thing to them in the end, huh? It's even what separates them from Erika, who was created by that witch. Both of them were dragged in from the outside, dragged along into participating, and then discarded when they were either defiant, no longer of use.. or both.

Sure, it leaves the question of why Will, since at least Ange had a direct enough connection to the people on the game board to be dragged in. But even aside from that..

It's a weird kinship. One Ange didn't exactly expect to find, and it makes something about her expression shift a little. The pokerface doesn't drop fully, but it drops just enough to show that there's a lot going through her mind right now.

She's obviously struggling with those words, especially since her head tells her that she can't be sure she can trust Will, but.. there's a part of her that wants to. A part of her that wants someone to understand what it's like to be used by that witch. Especially since it's something that she can't share with even the other people from her world here, who don't even know about these witches. ]

I'm.. sorry that happened to you.

[thewhydunnit]

[They're not really the same, in many important ways. He is not a Human, and never has been or will be. He is neither intrinsic to the gameboard nor inherently affiliated with Rokkenjima in any way. And maybe he'd make an effort to clarify that, to leave distance between himself and her, if it weren't for that last part.

Something in his expression tightens, mouth twisting in something of a scowl, though it's clear the expression isn't (or isn't entirely) meant for her. "Sorry" is a such a Human sentiment, he thinks. A means of expressing empathy for a fate that cannot be altered. Will isn't sorry, though. He would put himself through that gauntlet a hundred times, a thousand, ten thousand, just to bring Lion a little closer to that happy ending that Beatrice had dreamed of, to show her that the miracle was possible. Saying "sorry" was accepting that the tragedy was inevitable, that the fate of Clair and Lion and two million Beatrices truly could not be escaped.

Accepting that empathy was about the same as tearing Lion's chest out himself. He shakes his head.]

Was a choice I made. Like when you broke the rule to validate your brother's existence. You'd do it again, wouldn't you?

[entreats]

Of course. [ There's not a single shred of hesitation in that answer. Ange even looks Will right in the eyes as she's saying it. It's weird, the thought that someone she has never even met before knows of such a personal moment in her life, but she's trying to shove that feeling aside for a moment, leaving it behind to analyse later.

This answer feels more important. Because no matter how conflicted Ange feels about the game she read about with Featherine, no matter how much it stings to know that Battler left her behind, forgetting about his promise to bring their family back home, she wouldn't change what she had done.

Even if her brother would abandon her to her fate a thousand times over, she would still make the choice to save him every single one of those thousand times. ]

But that doesn't make it fair.

[ Some fire sneaks into Ange's voice, especially compared to how flat it had been earlier. She won't question the validity of the choice she made, or the choice that Will must have made - he must have wanted to protect someone too, she assumes - but she will question something else here. ]

It's not right for that dumb witch to shove anyone into a position where that could happen to them. She's out there ruining lives, and for what? Nothing more than her own amusement! It's so gross! [ Ange doesn't exactly like Beatrice either, but she's at least willing to admit to a shred of nuance when it comes to that witch.

But when it comes to Bernkastel? Please. There's nothing good about that witch. Especially knowing that she's still out there doing the same thing to other people, even beyond everything Ange has seen. ]

[thewhydunnit]

[Will lets out an absent hum at Ange's reaction. Unfair isn't quite how he'd put it. Infuriating, perhaps. Unjust. Cruel. Arrogant, even, to tread on God's territory and presume to define a fate as absolute when it has yet to come to pass. And yet ... despite that, he still can't accept her words. Will had come back because he'd known deep in his bones that Bernkastel wouldn't let things end on a peaceful note; expecting her to do otherwise was like expecting a hurricane to stop itself from making landfall. He'd take a stand against it regardless.]

Human lives are rarely fair. S'what makes witches in the first place.

[Please, you mustn't ignore my heart! Bernkastel had taunted, back then. He is not unaware of what produces beings like her, and yet, it makes them no less monstrous.]

The trouble comes when they grow so distant from what they were that they've forgotten what it was like when they struggled against fate.

[entreats]

[ Ange lets out a huff in the face of getting a reaction from him that seems - in her eyes - so much more dispassionate than her own. She glances away from him, looking almost a little bit upset or embarrassed. It's not very strong, since she's already halfway through trying to shove it back away under her pokerface, but it is there.

The girl has been taking a bit more risks with actually opening up to people in this place, after all, but that leaves her all the more vulnerable when she doesn't find what she's looking for, quick to mentally pack her bags and draw up a wall once more the moment that happens. ]

Regardless, that witch just sucks. [ Her tone is more flat again too, in accordance with the rest of her behaviour right now. ] That's the important part here.

[thewhydunnit]

[He looks a little puzzled at her reaction; the finer niceties of social interaction tend to fly by his head, as much as he's skilled at seeing right to the heart of matters most of the time.]

...Yeah.

[That does more or less sum things up, doesn't it. There's a few moments of silence that pass between them as Will continues to look at her with that oddly piercing gaze of his, before he speaks up again.]

Have you found peace here?

[She spoke to him like she's been here a long time. Of all the pieces on Beatrice's game board, Ange's is of course the one he knows the least about. She only featured in one of the games he read, after all. But though he may be lacking in details of her situation, the broader picture doesn't escape him. She lost everyone she loved in one night, and answers to why were sealed away in a catbox, never to be opened, for twelve years.

The happy ending she'd desired was impossible for her, the Ange of 1998. But that didn't mean she didn't deserve one just as Lion had. She too had prayed for a miracle that Bernkastel saw fit to deny. He has to be hopeful, if only because he's so fucking tired of crushed hopes and broken dreams.]

[entreats]

I think peace is a pretty big word to use in a place like this. [ It's still a very closed-off answer, considering that it doesn't really answer any part of what he's saying directly. It's just generally referring to the situation they have found themselves in, though Ange is pretty sure that the man standing in front of her right now has absolutely no idea of just how much headache-inducing moments are most likely awaiting him in this place.

But even though it seems like Ange might just leave him with only that non-answer for a moment, since the girl falls silent after saying it, it's not the only thing she says. The silence is only a pause where she stares at him, still completely unsure what to make of this man who seems to know more about her than she knows about him. ]

.. but if you're asking whether I've moved on, then.. I guess I have. [ She figures sharing this much shouldn't hurt, regardless of her uncertain feelings about him.

And poor Ange over here is ignorant in her own way. Ignorant of just how much that statement is going to crumble straight down to the ground when Sayo hits it with a sledgehammer in only a little while. ]

I'm not sure how much that changes though. There's doubtlessly still thousands of Anges struggling on back home. [ Especially since she disappeared from there in what felt like the middle of it all. ]

[thewhydunnit]

[Listen, this bizarre squid planet is calmer by leaps and bounds than what he was dealing with before. He'll take it over Bernkastel's nonsense any day of the week.

And perhaps he'd make some sort of deadpan remark to that effect if it weren't for that last comment, but it thoroughly distracts him. There's a distinct moment where his gaze sharpens, like he wasn't fully present in the conversation until now. After all, this is the exact sort of thing he got torn apart for. Would get torn apart for again, an endless number of times.]

Of course it changes things. When you were in the fourth game, didn't you desperately fight on for the opportunity that even one Ange might have her brother come home to her? Even if it wasn't you, that hope spurred you on. Do you not think all of those thousands of Anges would be relieved that one had the opportunity to be saved? You are the hope of every Ange trapped in a lonely prison after the catbox closed in 1986. Your happiness will be their salvation.

[entreats]

[ See, that's the exact thing here, the difference between Lion and Ange. Lion, who inherently believes in the good inside of people, who might be able to imagine other versions of them rooting for them. And then there's Ange, who has grown up around so much cruelty and cynicism that it's hard for her to imagine anyone at all rooting for her.

Even when it's herself. Even when this version of her has, indeed, rooted for any version of her to be happy. It's still hard to imagine any other version of her thinking the same, despite them all literally being the same person.

It makes her expression falter a little, unsure to wrap her idea about that thought, and so she shoves said thought far down. It's easier to engage with something that's a little less complex here. Something that makes her feel a tad less weird. ]

.. why do you care? [ It's not an accusation. It's certainly not as abrasive as Ange can be at times.

It's just that she doesn't get it. ]

I'm just some girl you've never even met until now. I don't get it. [ Why would he even ask about it as a total stranger?

Please, you can throw Ange into better circumstances, but her self worth will never climb high enough to be able to understand why people would care about her. ]

[thewhydunnit]

That's not the point.

[He is a random stranger with no connection to the family. He's fully willing to admit to that. But she's looking at it from a Human perspective again, the notion that he needs to have a personal history with her in order to say what he says, when the nature of his investment is more abstract. Will shakes his head.]

Every Human life inherently holds weight. Whether or not we share a personal connection doesn't alter that fact. Your fate is chosen only by you. There is meaning to it regardless of anyone else's opinion, Human or Witch alike. Don't forget that.

[entreats]

[ Please, it's because Ange has absolutely no idea about the other's nature. If he was a piece like her, then he probably wasn't a witch himself, nor a demon - and that leaves very few options. Ange did imagine he was probably a human, maybe one on a slight abstract level like Erika, but it's starting to feel less and less true with every word coming out of the man's mouth.

It's weird. Absolutely everything about him is so hard to place, no matter how much Ange tries to click puzzle pieces together in her mind. ]

That's not exactly a common human opinion.

[ From her experience, anyway. But it's not the only thing she's trying to say with it. She's also trying to say that - from her point of view - Will doesn't exactly sound like a human, especially when he's saying 'human' like that in the first place. ]

If you were human, you'd understand that it's not that easy to be unaffected by other people's opinions. [ Especially when said people hold so much more power than you, in a variety of ways. How can anyone believe that their life and fate is valid when it's constantly being toyed with, or when you've just been told to die all your life? ]

[thewhydunnit]

[He doesn't freeze or flinch or hesitate at the callout. It's true. He isn't like her, doesn't even really exist on the same level of reality as she is used to. Lion had insisted they not be treated as a Piece, back on that board, and Will is -- well, he is very abruptly getting a crash course in how to have personal interactions with humans that aren't part of an objective he's trying to fulfill now, isn't he? It's strange for him too, talking to Humans on this level, as people rather than Pieces of a story.]

I never said I was one. But it's true, Humans seek connection, wanting to validate their existence through being understood by another.

[That was the ultimate nature and goal of Beatrice's game, after all.]

But that desire to be known doesn't negate anything. Whatever anyone else's feelings may be, it is still within your hands to continue to strive for a better fate, to seek out those who would understand. You prayed for a miracle, that your family would return to you and end your loneliness. But as you said...unlike thousands of other versions of Ange Ushiromiya still waiting for a miracle that won't come, you've moved on. You made your own miracle. That matters. It opens the door of possibility for every version of you that still dreams of being saved.

[entreats]

[ There's so many things she could say here. That it doesn't feel like she's made her own miracle, for one, when that miracle was so dependent on the people actually reaching out to her in this place, on the fact that she even got to have a break from that awful and cruel world she was born into in the first place. Or that it doesn't feel like she's truly helping any other Ange out there unless she could grant them the same chance somehow.

It's all too personal though, and so Ange quickly sweeps it all under the rug. Maybe she would have said them if this was someone she knew better, but until she's fully sure of what Will's deal is, it'll have to stay inside her heart. ]

Is this why Bernkastel dragged you in? Because you're some sort of magical therapist?

[ Look, it can be the second impression, okay. Right behind 'shady weird guy'. ]

She's not exactly the type to care about this sort of stuff. She was more than eager to throw me into the meat grinder the moment she was done with me. [ Bernkastel is the #1 person of not caring about other people's fates, other than to make them more miserable. ]

[thewhydunnit]

[Sorry, sorry, excuse Will, he just needs to -- he needs to have A Moment here. Because that is absolutely fucking hilarious, sarcasm or otherwise. He doesn't really laugh out loud, so much as his expression grows sharp for a moment, like he absolutely could start degenerating into mad witch-style cackles any moment. His shoulders even get in a good couple of tremors of mirth before he has himself together, though his grin doesn't entirely fade.]

Wow, that's a new one.

[Lord Almighty he is not even sure how to cope with someone thinking of him like this. He has clearly made a mistake or several.]

.....No, it wasn't anything half so decent. [A snort.] Would be terrible at it anyway.

[Lion kept having to pinch him for forgetting to treat the other Pieces like people after all....]

[entreats]

You do seem to think and speak an unnecessary amount about how humans work. [ Ange helpfully points out, somehow managing to maintain her pokerface even in the face of his near-laugh that's going on in front of her eyes.

She thinks she's right when it comes to this, anyway. Even if it's not necessarily what Will might be - though what exactly he is still seems to be like a total mystery, and the guy doesn't necessarily seem all for offering up that information himself - it's sure what he comes across when he gets all philosophical about what makes people tick. ]

That's not something I've generally seen. Not even among those witches, or the demons, or anything else. [ Anything else out there in the meta world, that is.

And then she adds, possibly even dryer: ]

Glad to see you admit to being a shady guy though.

[ ANGE, PLEASE.. All he said is that he wasn't anything halfway as decent as a therapist, chill, girl!!

At least her dry, deadpan tone makes it sound not super serious. Or at least, it doesn't sound like she's intentionally insulting him here.

If so, she'd tell him to keep the jokes to that single red strand of hair. ]

[thewhydunnit]

[Her lack of chill is fine, honestly, because Will seems to think it's terribly amusing. The sharpness in his expression doesn't quite fade so much as it smooths down from shocked, jagged edges to a single carved-out point. It's a little like the look one gets watching a puppy fluff itself up to growl at a much larger dog, a mixture of endearment and secondhand embarrassment. He doesn't mind playing along, at least for a little while.]

...Sorry, the Great Court requires all complaints against this Piece to be submitted in writing. Please allow 5-7 business days for processing and you'll be notified of your place within the queue.

[Give or take a few hundred years. Other layers of reality are the peskiest zip codes for submitting paperwork to, smh.]

[entreats]

[ Wait, hold on-- the Great Court?

Ange seems to be caught off guard by the usage of those words. Visibly so, too. Her eyes widen as she stares at Will, the surprise showing on her face before she even has the chance to try and suppress it. It's just not something she quite expected to hear.

Does that mean this guy is from there? Like Dlanor? Or maybe he isn't, but knows about it and is using it to troll her? When he's saying it with this slight change in his expression, Ange would totally believe that he was just trying to troll her, which is what's keeping her from just outright making the assumption. (Ange never likes looking dumb, after all.)

But that does leave her in the frustrated middle of not knowing for sure, yet not wanting to ask it out of some weird sense of pride.

Which.. well. It sure does make Ange look like that puppy in the metaphor. Or a kitten, were that comparison not a lot more unfortunate, right after what happened to the man. ]

.. I'll be keeping an eye on you.

[ Yes, she is pointing at her eyes and then at him.

There is always a part of Ange that is still just six, thanks. ]

Don't you forget that.

[ So scary!! So intimidating!! Ange, girl, your height doesn't even get close to reaching up to this giant's shoulders. ]

[thewhydunnit]

[Too bad she isn't able to bring herself to ask, really. It might have cleared up a few things about this random weird guy.

...Who abruptly bows formally at the waist, switching to a more archaic style of speech like Ange would've heard from Dlanor's assistants while still wearing that grin.]

Let it be known that your intentions to monitor this Piece have been entered into the official record, Witch of Resurrection, ANGE-Beatrice.