[Unconsciously, he rubs at his upper arm and looks to the side before going to sit back down, taking the knife back. This is another detail of the shit Keith just stepped in that might be a lot to take in and he is really feeling himself wear down. Of course, it's largely his massive pile of emotional baggage from his relationship with Keith that is now gone that is causing the wearing, but…

He lets out a huff and gets to it already.] Short answer? I died… Back in the dream, the magic that held us there wasn't perfect, it was falling apart. And that magic could also bring us back to life when we were killed, but each time there was a price, and it got worse with each death. Losing pieces of your memory was one of the prices… I even forgot how to speak English for a while once.

[He sighs and gives Keith a moment to process all that. The unstable magic that made up the nightmare and the revival process is also part of why he thinks most people don't remember when they leave and come back. You lose something of yourself each time you die and Ramona told them that there wasn't enough power to bring back everything perfectly each time, or something along those lines. It would make sense for the same rules to apply to fully leaving the nightmare and then all that power dragging them back. Some things get lost and can't be restored.]